The Devil's Brigade
by SoapyMech
Summary: In 1942, a multi national Commando force is formed. Canada and America will join together, and bring the fight to the Axis as the First Special Service Force, The Devil's Brigade. Please Review!
1. Prologue

Prologue.

Somewhere on the Italian Front, 1943.

It was a typical night on the Italian lines, Italy was in one of the machine gun posts, having a night of fun, despite the fact the war was now being fought on his soil. The sounds of laughter, wine and pasta being shared and enjoyed covered their approaching doom.

"Ha ha!" Italy laughed, "Mister Germany should really learn to lighten up and not be so serious all the time! Maybe people would like him more if he just learned to let loose and have some more fun!"

Then, without warning, a small crack of thunder rumbled, a bolt of lightning lit up the valley before them.

"That was odd! I didn't think it was going to rain tonight..." Italy commented.

The thunder rumbled again, and another crack of lighting illuminated the figure now standing above them.

"Ciao, vista una buona serata, gli amici?" the figure said, before he began to spray the Italian soldiers with the Thompson submachine gun he held in his hands. The Italian soldiers crumpled and howled as the .45 slugs smashed into them, and after the weapon was empty, Italy was the only who wasn't laying in a pool of his own blood. However he was crouching in a pool of something else.

"AHH! Please don't kill me mister scary monster man!" Italy pleaded, as the figure slowly walked towards him, replacing the empty magazine in his weapon with a fresh one. "Please don't kill me, I'm just an innocent country, well maybe not entirely innocent, I mean I am part of the Axis and we haven't been doing very nice things to Poland, and Czechoslovakia, and Belgium and the Netherlands and France, but that's mostly Germany, I couldn't even win a war against Egypt or Ethiopia, and Germany could have held out longer in Sicily if he didn't have to save me all the time, just don't kill me I just want to sing and laugh and play and have beautiful sensuous nights with small breasted and long haired women, not fight and kill and bleed and..."

"Shut up." The figure ordered, enhancing his point by sticking the barrel of his weapon in Italy's face, but Italy continued to beg for his life. The figure grabbed Italy by his collar and lifted him up. He then reached into his pocket and took out a small sticker, and after he licked the back of it, he stuck it on Italy's forehead. This caused Italy to be quiet. It was then, that with another bolt of lightning, Italy saw the face of the monster, his face blackened with shoe polish.

"Tell your boyfriend Germany, What. You. Saw. Capito?"  
>"Si, si, si I will just don't kill meeeee!"<p>

The man dropped Italy and then walked away.

After Italy was sure the man had disappeared, he began to scream for Germany at the top of his lungs.

"Verdammt Italy, how many times have I told you that you shouldn't start firing machine guns and screaming for me whenever a leaf falls on your head! You're going to reveal your position to everyone if you keep this up!" Germany bellowed as he ran towards Italy's machine gun post.

"Holy Mother of the Munich Beergardens!" Germany yelled in shock when he saw the bloody scene, the scents of gunpowder mixed with urine filled the air. "Italy what the hell happened here? And why didn't you die too?"

"Germany... it was horrible, we were just relaxing and celebrating and having some wine and pasta when this man shows up out of nowhere and says, 'Hello friends are you having a good night?' and then he starts shooting us! It was horrible!"

"Calm the hell down! And did you piss yourself? That's disgusting!"

Suddenly, from behind him, Germany heard rapid boot falls and screams of terrified panic.

"Veneziano, Germany! Help me! It's a monster! He's gonna kill us all!" Romano ran on scene, and dove, grabbing onto Germany's leg with a death grip.

"Will the two of you calm down! Italy go and change your pants, South Italy, let go of me, get a hold of yourselves, and we'll talk about this at the campsite!

Later, after a change of trousers...

"...Now that you two are in some control of yourselves, what the heck happened?" Germany asked the two, as they sat in front around a campfire.

"I already told you what happened to me Germany! But, I kept this thing the monster stuck onto my forehead, but I can't read what it says! It's not a dick or a curse word or something is it?" Italy asked, as he pointed to the sticker. Germany reached over and ripped it off, Italy yelping when he did so.

"No, Italy it isn't a phallus. I think it's... a warning? 'The worst is yet to come.' It's defiantly a warning. South Italy, what did he do to you?"

"Holy crap man, he just showed up out of freaking nowhere, hovering over me while I was, reminiscing about something..."  
>"What?" Germany asked.<br>"I was looking at a picture of Belgium and playing with myself behind a rock are you freaking happy?"  
>"Whatever, what happened then?"<br>"All of a sudden I just heard shooting and screaming and killing, so I ran back to my post and he was just there, standing over these bodies! I freaked out when he started walking towards me, and then he saw the picture, and he took it and started staring at me, and then he started... speaking French!"

Italy screamed at the top of his lungs in shock.

"Are you telling me France came in and massacred two posts of men? That's ridiculous."  
>"No no, It's like he freakin' knew that scared me, and he didn't speak it like France does! But, then he leaned in and he said, 'She's out of your league you little punk' and walked away!"<p>

Germany looked back at the card in his hand, and looked closer at the emblem on the card.

"What did he look like?" He asked.  
>"His face was darkened!" Italy said.<br>"And, he looked like America, but if you pointed that out to him, he'd get angry at you!" Romano added.  
>"But he also seemed really polite if you got to know him!" Italy laughed "And he was surprisingly unnoticeable!"<br>"He was a Black Devil, right out of Hell!" Romano wailed.

Germany studied the emblem. The first thing that caught his eye was the "USA" on it. _But it couldn't have been him. _Germany thought, _If it was America, he would have let those two know, knowing how much he likes to take the credit for everything._ He looked again, and like the bottom half of a "T" was "Canada."

_Of course, Canada. Someone so unnoticeable that he could sneak up like that, but then again you could drive an entire armoured division past those two and they wouldn't notice. He was the most terrifying force on die Western Front in World War One. And he was a notoriously good trench raider. I could have sworn I'd completely defeated his will to fight at Dieppe, but he was in Sicily, and I have been fighting him here. This is bad. With Canada's skill and brain power, combined with America's resources, this isn't good._ _I should call Japan, he defeated Canada at Hong Kong, maybe he has some techniques to defeat him..._

Through his binoculars, America watched Germany and the two Italy brothers around their campfire.

"Dude this is totally perfect! Italy is so freaking right now!" America said.  
>"You don't think I scared them too much do you?" Canada asked.<br>"Naw man, it was awesome! When you scared the crap out of South Italy, you totally fucked with his head! He probably won't sleep for a month! Oh dude! Germany's heading back to his tent! Did you do something to him?"  
>"Yep, he'll be rushing out in three...two...one."<p>

"WHO'S THE DEAD MAN WHO STOLE MIEN BEER!" Germany Screamed.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

"Project Plow."

1942

"England! England!" America shouted as he burst into England's office, the occupant inside barely noticing as he made another stitch into his needlework project.

"Yes America, what is it?" England coldly replied.  
>"I just thought up this super genius and totally awesome plan! You're going to love it!" America squealed.<br>"Alright, enlighten me." England sighed.  
>"Okay, what if you and me got our best guys together, and created this hardcore ass kicking team of badasses, and did the most insane and dangerous missions?"<br>"That's an uncharacteristically good idea, which is extremely abnormal for you."  
>"I'm still telling you that Plan Alpha Wolf would totally work if guys followed along."<br>"In fact, this new plan of yours sounds suspiciously familiar to the one I put on your desk just this morning."  
>"I have no idea what you're talking about dude." America laughed nervously while holding England's plan behind his back.<br>"Indeed. But I'm afraid I won't be joining you on these little escapades."  
>"What? Why not?"<br>"Because, I simply don't have enough manpower to supply my share of the troops."  
>"What? But you've got those Commando guys, and the SAS and..."<br>"And they're all quite busy. Why don't you ask Canada?"  
>"Canadia? He's on our side? And that said he's in this war?"<br>"Yes, you fool, he's been with us for longer than you have."  
>"But he's so weak, and I don't think he can put up a fight with anyone."<br>"You've seen him during the bloody First World War! People were mistaking you for him whenever you did something right!"  
>"Don't care, bored now! I guess I'll go and ask Canada then. See Ya!" America said, before he left.<p>

"Canada was actually the one I said should be a part of this in the plan. Stupid git."

America walked down the halls of the Allies Headquarters.

"Man... where is he? I can never find him when I need him! He's like a ghost or something!"

Suddenly America Walked into something, and fell back on his butt.

"Ow! What the heck! What did I run into? There's nothing here!" America wondered aloud.  
>"I'm sorry America, you must not have seen me." A quiet voice barely above a whisper said.<p>

America blinked, and Canada was standing above him, holding out his hand to help him up.

"Woah, I really didn't see you there dude! You have to carry around a flag or something!" America said as Canada helped him up. "I was actually looking for you!"

"You were? What for?" Canada asked.  
>"England and I totally thought up this plan, where you and I get our best guys, and we create this totally kick ass team of dudes, and we totally mess up Germany!"<br>"That sounds like a really good idea, but why did you choose me?"  
>"I don't know, maybe cause we'd probably be doing a lot of fighting in like, Norway and the Arctic, and you're really used to that cold stuff."<br>"Okay then, I guess it's a good plan."  
>"And I totally thought up an awesome name! When the bad guys hear it, they'll be screaming for their mommies!"<br>"What is it?"  
>"Hang on to your hats, cause we'll call ourselves <strong>ALPHA TIGER-WOLF DANGER SQUAD!<strong>" America announced, with all of his normal bravado.  
>"America... I don't want to be rude, but a French Schoolgirl wouldn't be afraid of that name."<br>"Like you could do better."  
>"Everyone knows that if you give a unit a name like that, they're doomed to be defeated really easily."<br>"What? That's bull. You need to have a cool name or else no one takes you seriously!"  
>"You have to wait to be given a cool name, by being awesome. Germany still calls my first division "The Little Red Devils," cause I trounced him so much in the First World War."<br>"Yeah sure, whatever, so if you don't want that name, what should we call our new team?"

Canada pondered for a moment.

"The First Special Service Force." He said after a bit.  
>"But that's so boring!" America whined.<br>"But if we do all these really cool things that you're planning on, maybe we'll get called like... The Polar Ice Storm Group or something stupid like that."  
>"If you say so, I guess we can use that name."<br>"When should we start training our guys for these missions?"  
>"As soon as possible of course, but I don't think we really need to train when you've got me on the team."<br>"Whatever you say America."


	3. Chapter Two

(Authors Note: I hope this chapter isn't boring, or anything like that, but I hope it's good, and if it isn't, I'll try my hardest to improve on it in later chapters!)

Chapter Two

"Training Time."

Camp "X", Ontario.

It was a cold early morning at the secret facility known to only those who were allowed to know as Camp X. Canada and America stood in an empty, grassy field.

"Okay Alfred." Canada began, "Welcome to Camp X. We'll be training here for the time being."  
>"Why here? Isn't everyone else training in Montana?" America asked.<br>"Because, the only people who seem to be able to spy on us directly are other countries, and I'm so unnoticeable for some reason, it only makes sense to train where no one can find us."  
>"Okay! Continue."<br>"Right. Today's lesson will be hand to hand combat training. You may find yourself in a situation that requires you to take out an enemy when you are unarmed, or are too close to get an accurate shot off."  
>"I already know how to beat someone weaker than me up. Why do I have to relearn it?"<br>"Oh, you're that sure of yourself? Hit me in the face, Al."  
>"Wait, what?" America looked confused.<br>"Hit me. Hit me as hard as you can." Canada replied calmly.  
>"Are you sure? I throw a mean punch."<br>"Shut up and hit me already you fatass pansy! Or are you all talk?"

Growling, America charged at Canada, his fist drawn back for a strike. When he got close he threw his fist forward as hard as he could, but Canada calmly side stepped him and grabbed on to his brother's wrist.

"What the hell?" America cried before Canada knocked his feet out from under him, slamming him to the ground.

"That was a fluke! I swear!" America panted.  
>"You're welcome to try again." Canada smirked.<p>

America scrambled to his feet and threw another punch, but Canada dodged it and countered with a blow to the stomach, followed with a toss over his shoulder.

"How the hell did you do that?" America gasped.  
>"I transferred your center of gravity to my own, like a lever." Canada explained.<p>

America got to his feet and charged his brother for a third time.

"This time I'll get you good!" He shouted.

Canada spun around and slammed his heel into America's side. The stinging blow shuddered through his entire body and dropped him to the ground. America howled in pain, grabbing where his liver would be located.

"Are we ready to learn?" Canada asked crouching down next to his brother.  
>"You're just using this as an opportunity to unleash pent up aggression against me, aren't you?" America moaned.<br>"A little bit." Canada replied.  
>"What was that for?" America asked.<br>"The Fenian raids." Canada said, helping his brother up.  
>"You're still mad about that?"<br>"Kind of, yeah."

"C'mon Alfred! Pick up the pace!" Canada said, shouting back to America, dragging himself along the wooded trail.  
>"Seriously dude, why do we have to do this?" America whined from under the weight of his back pack.<br>"Hikes in full combat load are gonna be a lot more common in combat Al, so don't complain about it!"  
>"Where are we even going anyway?"<br>"To climb that mountain over there! Were you even paying attention this morning?"

America moaned and collapsed on to the ground with a loud _whump_.

"Oh for pete's sake, Al! It's only another two kilometres north... and another kilometre upwards." Canada said, walking over and lifting America up from the ground. America responded with another defeated moan.  
>"Wait a minute. You feel light, did you lessen your pack load?" Canada demanded to know.<br>"Duh... half of it was rocks dude." America replied dismissively.  
>"They're supposed to simulate a full combat load, you cheater!"<br>"I needed to make room for the essentials!"  
>"What essentials?" Canada said yanking America's backpack from his shoulders.<p>

Putting it on the ground, Canada opened it, to discover a vast array of candy and other unhealthy snacks.

"Oh, come on Al, really?" Canada said, exasperated.  
>"What? The rocks were taking up room!"<br>"What else did you get rid of?" Canada began digging through the pack.  
>"Just stuff I don't need."<br>"Where are your C Rations? Where's your tent? Where's your rain jacket? Your sleeping bag's missing as well, and Good God man, **WHERE ARE YOUR CIGARETTES?**"  
>"Dunno... probably back at camp."<br>"Well, your loss my friend, don't come crying to me when we get caught in a storm, and I'm not sharing my smokes with you." Canada said sternly as he handed the pack back to America.  
>"Whatever, while you'll be chomping down on gross old rations, I'll be rewarding my taste buds with delicious candy!" America said, following his brother.<p>

Later that night, Canada sat under his tent, which he had fashioned into a sturdy and dry lean-to, protected from the pouring rain on the mountain top. He looked out at America, shivering as the rain fell on him.

"C-c-c-an I use your raincoat for a bit, p-p-p-puh-please?" America shivered.  
>"No. You need to learn your lesson."<br>"C-c-c-c-come on man, I'm f-f-fuh-freezing m-m-my ass off!"  
>"Why don't you eat some of your precious candy? Won't that warm you right up?" Canada smirked.<br>"It's soaking wet you jerk."  
>"Hah! Serves you right. I hope you've learned something from this."<br>"N-n-n-never... ditch your gear... for candy space."  
>"That's right. Anything else?"<br>"Don't... ignore everything Canada says, 'cause he's right sometimes."  
>"Close enough. Get your ass under here you stupid bastard."<p>

America eagerly scrambled under the lean-to, where Canada handed him a mess tin of coffee he had made.

"Wh-wh-when Can we go back?" America asked.  
>"Tomorrow. So just calm down and get warm." Canada said, handing him a spare jacket.<br>"You had an extra one this entire time?"  
>"I knew you'd do something stupid like this. So I came prepared."<br>"Rub it in, why don't you?"  
>"Oh, I fully intend to."<p>

And so, the two sat for the entire night, listening to the rain as it hit the roof of their little spot.

"Okay Al, one more time," Canada sighed, "How do you say, _Don't Speak or I'll kill you_?"  
>"Don't speak or I'll kill you." America replied, "I thought this was supposed to be hard."<br>"How do you say in it German, smartass?"  
>"Uh..."<br>"Say it after me: _Sprechen sie nicht, oder ich werde dich töten_." Canada said, slowly.  
>"Speeken do not, or I'm gonna kill you!" America said.<br>"Will you at least _try_ to take this seriously?" Canada said, burying his hand in his palm.  
>"Why do we even have to learn this dumb stuff anyway? I mean, seriously, once we conquer them, we'll make them speak English!" America whined.<br>"It's somewhat of a good idea to learn some of your enemy's language. It kind of helps when you know what they're saying."  
>"Whatever. How do you say swear words in German? That's what I want to know!" America said as he spun around in his chair.<br>"If you promise to learn the other phrases, only then will I teach you curse words."  
>"Aww... fine." America sulked.<p>

"Okay Al, here we have a fine example of German military engineering." Canada said, pointing at the weapon sitting on the table."This is a Mauser Karibiner 98K rifle, the main weapon of German forces. It fires a 8x57 milimeter cartridge, bolt-action operation, with a five round stripper clip capacity."  
>"Okay. Go on."<br>"Now, today, we're going to learn everything about this weapon, and the others that Germany, Japan and Italy use."  
>"Okay. Why?"<br>"Because, sometimes the situation entails we need to use these weapons, wither we've run out of ammunition for our own small arms, or we're infiltrating an enemy emplacement, and things may go south."  
>"Gotcha."<p>

"Now, we'll move onto enemy grenade training." Canada said.  
>"Oh, boy! Does that mean we get to blow things up?" America shook with glee.<br>"Yes. To start, we have the mainstay of the Germany army, the potato masher shaped _Stielhandgrenate._"  
>"Oh yeah! The funny looking one."<br>"Right, now to use it, you unscrew the bottom like so, yank on the cord," Canada ten heaved the grenade as far as he could. The Grenade landed, and exploded.  
>"And after five seconds, the high explosive will go off."<br>"Cool!"  
>"Now then, the second type of grenade is the Italian <em>Bomba-a-Mano <em>'Red Devil'. This grenade is essentially useless."  
>"What do you mean useless?<br>"Al, I pulled the pin on this grenade about two hours ago." Canada replied, calmly tossing the grenade into the air and catching it."  
>"Won't it go off?"<br>"Maybe, but probably not."  
>"So, don't use them at all."<br>"That's right." Canada tossed the grenade over his shoulder. It surprisingly didn't go off.

Somewhere in Europe

Axis training facility

"Now then, continuing yesterday's lesson titled _Knowing Ones Enemy_!"

From their vantage point in the bushes, a camouflaged America and Canada watched Germany, Italy and Japan.

"What the heck are we doing here?" America whispered.  
>"This lesson's called, <em>Stealth, Camouflage, Concealment and Intelligence gathering.<em>" Canada explained. "The number one thing you need to know is your enemy, like our jerry friend just explained, so we're going to study their training."

"Since we've finished our lesson on the main Allied powers, we're now going to learn about the secondary powers. These nations aren't as influential as the big three of America, England and die Soviet Union, but make no mistake they're far cleverer due to their lack of numbers, and often times far more deadly." Germany began. "The largest of these groups is called ze Commonwealth, made up of former English colonies. They follow British military doctrine, use British equipment and uniforms, but they are not British."

"Then, how do we tell them apart?" Japan asked, raising his hand.  
>"An excellent question! Die easiest vay is to listen to their accents und greetings. Australians and New Zealanders often will greet you with a <em>G'Day Mate!<em>" Germany tried to force a crude reproduction of an Australian accent. "In order to survive against them, you must try to use their own tactics against them."  
>"I have heard that the Commonwealth nations are easily distracted by alcoholic beverages, should we try to trick them into a drinking competition?" Japan asked.<br>"No! Never, under any circumstances attempt to best one of these nations into un drink off! A Commonwealth nation can consume three times the amount of alcohol any of us can without even feeling buzzed, and four times the amount that you und Italy together can drink! If you ever find yourself in such a situation, inform me immediately, I will gladly take die silver bullet for you."  
>"Thanks Germany! If you ever find yourself in a situation where you're surrounded by far too many beautiful women, I'll gladly sacrifice myself!" Italy cheered.<br>"Good to know I can count on you for something at ze very least." Germany sighed. "Now, then identifying Australia is very easy. He is easily noticeable for his enjoyment of alcohol as detailed earlier, his aggressiveness, his seemingly permanent stubble, and his affinity for large knives. His sister, New Zealand is far shorter than him, easily excitable, and often seen with her older brother."

"She looks perfect for me!" Italy cried, looking at a picture of her, "She just my size, looks like she's a lot of fun and easily defeated! Not to mention a real cutie!"

Germany imagined a likely situation of Italy in combat with New Zealand.

"_C'mon, sing the song already!" Imaginary New Zealand giggled as she sat on Italy's back, yanking on the curly hair on Italy's head.  
>"D-D-Draw a circle, THAT'S the WORld..." Imaginary Italy wailed in a strange combination of pleasure and pain.<em>

"Moving on," Germany sighed. "Australia and New Zealand are only part of the main Commonwealth. The main enemy you'll probably fight will be the Dominion of Canada, the oldest of the Commonwealth, and the most dangerous. Do not be deceived by his passive and mild appearance! That's how he gets you. When you fight him you must always keep aware! You may only catch a glimpse of him in the still moon light, and then, your next will be his face after he plunges a bayonet into your back! On first sight you may be confused that America is wearing a British style of battledress, when in fact it is Canada! Luckily, he is easily distracted by maple syrup, hockey, plaid shirts and winter stocking caps, which he will curiously refer to as a _touque_."

"This is seriously how he's been training them?" America asked.  
>"And he wonders why he lost The Great War." Canada sighed.<p>

"The relationship between these nations is one of the strongest in the entire world. My theory, is that they are in fact related! As well, Canada's bilingualism persuades me to believe that at one point England and the female version of France must have one point reproduced!"

"Wait, what?" America asked.  
>"The first thing is true, but I still don't know about the other thing." Canada said.<br>"How does that even work?" America asked.  
>"Well, I do have her hair..."<br>"How can England be your dad? He's like, three years older than you!"  
>"And China's like, five thousand!"<br>"Wait...does that mean England's my dad too?"  
>"I... don't know."<br>"This hurts my head!"  
>"Me too, let's get out of here." Canada said. "<em>But now I have some questions for Miss France<em>." He thought to himself.

For months, the Canadians and Americans of the FSSF trained and bonded into an elite fighting force, becoming experts in their form of warfare, mastering mountain, and night warfare, before their deployment to their first combat in the Italian mountains. There, their skill was proven at Mount La Difensa, in a costly, but successful attack after climbing up to the mountain top position. After, they were deployed to the Anzio beachhead, where their legend truly began.

But we won't be going there just yet...

Author's Notes:

_Dubbed "The School of Mayhem and Murder", Camp X was a secret training base located in Ontario, Canada, used for training the SOE, OSS and other secret infiltration and espionage units. It was so secret, that Mackenzie King, the Canadian Prime Minister at the time, didn't even know it existed! Notable graduates from Camp X include Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond, (whos adventures and characters were based off of Fleming's time in the SOE,) and Roald Dahl, notable childrens writer._

_The Fenian Raids were a series of incursions by Irish born veterans of the American Civil War into Canada, hoping to capture it and hold it as ransom to England, in exchange for the independance of Ireland. The Raiders were supposedly supported by the US government as retaliation for British Support of the Confederacy. The defeat of these raids were what gained an increase of support for Canada's declaration of Independance, as the colony was clearly able to defend itself from attack._


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"A Most Ambitious Plan."

Somewhere high above Germany.

Through a heavy snowstorm, a lone Ju 52 transport plane flew through the night. In the back of the plane, Canada and America sat, loaded with gear and parachutes.

"Hey, Alfred?" Canada shouted over the din of the engines.  
>"Yeah?" America responded.<br>"You didn't forget anything, right?"  
>"Nope! It's all packed in the container!"<p>

A red light by the door light up.

"Okay, let's do this!" Canada said, getting up from his seat.

The two secured their static lines and checked their gear. Canada opened the door and hooked up the weapons drop. When the light turned green, he kicked the pod out and followed after it, his chute opened and he drifted to the ground, protected from the biting cold by his heavy winter clothing. Soon, he landed, somehow next to the drop. America landed soon afterwards.

"Okay, remember to bury the chutes!" Canada whispered.  
>"I know, I know!" America replied, already burying his.<p>

Canada opened up the supply container, and handed America a Thompson submachinegun, before retrieving an M1 rifle for himself.

"Have you got the camera?" America asked.  
>"Yep." Canada replied as he used a flashlight to look at his map. "Looks like our target is halfway down this mountain. We should get to our primary infiltration point by morning, if the patrols aren't too heavy."<p>

With their gear loaded on to them, their skis on their backs and the evidence of their drop safely buried under the deep snow, the two began their trek down the mountain.

"Try to breathe through your mouth, that way the mask won't get all icy." Canada reminded his brother as he stepped over a fallen log.  
>"Yeah, yeah, I know." America replied, following the trail Canada had made. As they emerged from a tree line, they found themselves on a road.<br>"This is the road on the map, so we're heading the right way." Canada commented.  
>"Shh! Do you hear that?" America said.<p>

Canada listened, and he could hear voices. Turning his head, he saw lights coming up the road.

"Jerry patrol! Take cover! Take cover!" Canada whispered.

The two quickly dove into a ditch that ran along the road.

"Stay quiet and don't move!" Canada whispered.

The two listened as the sounds of boot steps, and German voices laughing and chatting grew louder and louder. They held their breath as the patrol walked past them. They waited until the sounds drifted farther and farther away, and only until they knew the patrol was out of sight, did they breathe a sigh of relief.

"Christ that was too close!" America whispered as they climbed out of the ditch.  
>"I hope England appreciates the risk we're taking." Canada said as he double checked that neither of them had left something in the ditch before they left to their objective.<p>

A day or so earlier, at Allied Headquarters.

Sprawled out on a sofa in his office, America snored loudly, a small strand of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. He was in such a deep slumber that he didn't notice Canada when he entered the room.

"America?" Canada said. "Alfred, wake up!"

America was unresponsive. Canada slammed the door shut, the loud noise roused America from his sleep.

"Huh... wha...? I wasn't sleeping! I swear! Oh, hey Canada, what's up?"  
>"Sleeping on the job again, eh?" Canada smirked.<br>"No! I was just... resting my mind that's all. I need to give this source of our tactical genius a break once in a while, right?"  
>"Suuuure." Canada said, rolling his eyes. "Did you see this memo England sent us?"<br>"No... It's probably on my desk." America replied.

Canada looked at the vast array of toys and other distractions on America's desk.

"Yeah, right." Canada sighed. "Here, listen to this."  
>"I'm all ears!" America replied, rolling over.<p>

Canada read from the paper in his hands

_To: Matthew Williams, the Dominion of Canada, and Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America.  
>Memorandum: Deployment of First Special Service Force, Infiltration, Espionage, Sabotage and other ungentlemenly acts of warfare detachment.<em>

_Background:_

_Dear Gentlemen,_

_This memo concerns the necessary deployment of you two in a secret operational capacity, (Remember Lads: Secret = British Top Secret) worthy of your capabilities. _

_It is the decision of our high command that an increased knowledge of our enemy must be undertaken in order to deliver a swift and satisfying end to our conflict against the Axis War machine. As such, I have authorized your insertion into enemy territory in order to obtain this needed information._

_Objective:_

_Primary Objective(s):_

_(1) Infiltrate Enemy Territory, and proceed to enemy installation._

_(2) Locate enemy agent (Picture enclosed) and photograph said agent in a compromising position, preferably with the minimal amount of clothing, garments or other such obstructions._

_(3) Escape by any means necessary._

_Secondary Objective(s):_

_(1) Obtain any available enemy intelligence, tactical or otherwise._

_Infiltration:_

_The two of you will be dropped via parachute into Germany, on a mountain a few kilometres above your objective. This will be a night time drop, at a point when a snowstorm which our meteorologists predict in the area will be at its worst. This will be understandably risky, but critical in order to guarantee a minimal chance of detection by enemy anti-aircraft installations._

_On hand for this asset will be a captured Ju 52 transport with Luftwaffe markings. It will deposit you into enemy territory, where upon it will proceed to friendly territory._

_From your landing site, you will proceed on foot to your primary target. _

_Exfiltration:_

_That's for you lads to figure out._

_Conclusion:_

_This operation must be kept secret from all unauthorized personal. Especially France._

_Signed, _

_Arthur Kirkland, The United Kingdom._

"And that's what he wrote." Canada ended.  
>"He wants us to drop behind enemy lines, and get him some dirty photos?" America asked in disbelief.<br>"It would appear so."  
>"Okay. Who's the agent?"<br>"See for yourself."

Canada flicked a small photo over to America, who caught it and took a look. It was a photo of a blonde woman, a very serious expression on her face, wearing a German Uniform.

"Oh my God, he wants us to catch girl Germany in her skivvies." America said.  
>"Yeah, sure looks that way."<br>"This does not seem like something England would ask us to do. He's a real prude when it comes to naked people." America tossed the photo back to his brother.  
>"Well, to be fair, she is quite attractive, for such a robust woman."<br>"Yeah, I'd like to bend her over and show her the forty-eight states!" America chuckled.  
>"March your troops through her Brandenburg Gate?" Canada smiled.<p>

America rolled off of the couch, crying with laughter.

"Oh man, that's a good one." He cried.  
>"So, are we going to do this?" Canada asked.<br>"Yeah, why not?" America sighed.  
>"Alright, you go tell him we're on it." Canada said, heading to the door.<br>"Where are you going?" America asked.  
>"I've got a date." Canada replied, and left the room.<p>

"Cool." America said as he got back onto the couch.

"Wait...**WHAT?**" He shouted.


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"Infiltrating."

Somewhere in Germany.

By the time Canada and America had reached their target, it was already early morning. The snowstorm had moved on, and a beautiful sunrise began to ascend. From the tree line they concealed themselves in, the two brothers looked down at their target. It was old mansion, very gothic inspired construction, but with the swastika banners one would expect from a Nazi compound.

"There she is." Canada said, lifting up his snow goggles.  
>"Yep. And it looks pretty well guarded." America commented as he squinted through his binoculars. "I've got at least three machinegun posts at the front gate, two on each side of the entry way, with another in that watch tower. But I don't see too many perimeter guards outside."<br>"They probably think they're so deep in German territory that they can afford to be a bit lax. It's not like we're sneaking into the Eagle's Nest. I'm sure there's only an hourly patrol."  
>"How much do you want to bet England will send us there next?"<br>"Yeah, well... wait, there's a car showing up, do you see it?" Canada pointed.

America watched as a black car drove up to the gate, stopped for the guard, before driving into the main courtyard.

"Can you see the passengers?" Canada asked.  
>"Hang on, it looks like..." America watched as three familiar figures got out of the car. "The entire fucking Axis."<br>"No." Canada said.  
>"Yeah."<p>

The two slid back out of sight.

"So what do we do? It's risky having all of them here." Canada said.  
>"I wonder why they're here anyway? This isn't their usual meeting place..." America wondered.<p>

...

"Boy Germany! It sure was nice of you to invite us on a ski trip!" Italy cheered as he followed Germany through the halls of the mansion."  
>"Ya, well it never hurts to relax once in a while, let off some steam as it were." Germany replied.<br>"I am very honored that you have invited us to your winter home, Germany-San, I always enjoy looking at the architecture of these old buildings. It's so different from my own."  
>"I'm glad you enjoy it here Japan." Germany said as he led the trio into the main library. Sitting in a chair in front of the fireplace, a book in her hands, sat Miss Germany.<p>

"Else! We have company!" Germany announced.

"You should have told me you were bringing your friends home Ludwig, I would have prepared myself." She said, getting up and walking over to them.

"It's very good to see you again Herr Japan." She said, bowing slightly.  
>"As with you." Japan said, doing the same.<br>"And my little Italy! How have you been Veneziano?" She smiled, looking at Italy.  
>"Wonderful as always Miss Germany!" Italy replied with a big smile.<br>"Have come just to play with Ludwig? Or are you hoping for some of my cooking?"  
>"Can it be both?"<br>"Of course mien kleines kind!" She suddenly lifted Italy off the ground in a tight hug, Italy giggled as she buried his head in her chest.

"Else, could you please not baby him so much? I'm trying to beat that out of him and your coddling isn't helping." Germany sighed.  
>"Oh, cheer up Ludwig! I'm just making him feel welcome, that's all." She said, gently placing Italy on the ground. "So, what are your plans for today?"<br>"Germany-san has invited us to partake in a skiing trip with him." Japan chimed in.  
>"Really? But Ludwig, you're an awful skier!"<br>"They don't need to know that, I'm trying to be nice." Germany whispered.  
>"Will come with us Miss Germany? Pretty pretty please?" Italy begged.<br>"No, it's far too cold out for me. I'm going to stay inside where it's warm. I may even have a nice hot shower later."  
>"Could I join you miss Germany?" Italy asked, with a begging look in his eyes.<br>"No, you can't. Let's get going, there was a good snowfall last night and I want to get on the slopes." Germany said, dragging Italy by his jacket collar.  
>"It was excellent seeing you." Japan said before he slipped out the door behind them.<p>

"Tell Ludwig I'll be making his favourite for dinner tonight!" Miss Germany called out after them.

...

America and Canada watched as the Axis exited the building, carrying skis and poles.

"A ski trip? They're here for a ski trip?" Canada asked, disbelief dripping from his voice.  
>"Looks like it. And from the bundle Italy's carrying, they'll be out for a while." America replied.<br>"Good. We shouldn't need more than fifteen minutes." Canada said, pulling back his sleeve for a brief moment to check his watch.  
>"Heh, that's what she said." America chuckled.<p>

Canada looked at his brother with a smirk.

"Wait... damn it." America sighed, realizing what he just said.  
>"Let's get going, short-fuse." Canada scoffed before he climbed over the embankment and slid down to the bottom, America followed close behind.<p>

Kicking up snow all the way, Canada and America dashed over to the wire fence surrounding the mansion. Canada tossed a spare bullet at the fence, and seeing it wasn't electrified, he pulled out a set of wire cutters.

"Cover me, I'm gonna make a hole." Canada said.  
>"Roger." America replied, looking out for patrols, sweeping back and forth with his Thompson, finger nervously hovering on the trigger.<p>

After he had cut through, Canada pushed down the broken fence and crawled through, his brother following behind him.

"Okay," Canada said, "From the floor plan England gave us, that window at the top should be Germany's bedroom. Have you got the grappling hook?"

America produced the hook, along with a length of rope. He heaved the hook to the roof of the building, and after a tug to test the ropes strength, he climbed up the side of the building. Opening the window, he peered inside. It was definitely Germany's room. He crawled in and motioned for Canada to follow. After he climbed in, the two surveyed the room.

"Okay, you check the desks, I'll look for a safe or something." Said Canada before he started checking behind the paintings in the room.

"Man, these desks are empty! Nothing but pencils and a couple of discarded snack wrappers!" America hissed.  
>"Check under the bed." Canada said as he lifted a painting, revealing a wall safe behind it. "Found the safe."<p>

As Canada turned the tumblers, hoping to open the safe, America looked under Germany's bed, and as he reached around he felt something. He pulled out a couple of large boxes.

"Looks like I've found the intelligence England wanted." Canada said as he started to shove folders and files into his spare pack. "What about you?"  
>"Check it out! Kraut boy's porn stash!" America giggled. Canada looked over and saw America eagerly holding up a pair of adult magazines.<br>"Does he have anything good?" Canada asked.  
>"Let's see... butt stuff... horse stuff... ooh! Some Japanese stuff!"<br>"Anything with nurses or maids?" Canada asked.  
>"Plenty."<br>"Grab anything that isn't too deviant and let's get going!"

After America had two packs full of stolen magazines, the two rearranged the room to look as though it had been untouched and climbed back down the rope. After he yanked down their improvised ladder, the two debated their next move.

"Okay, intelligence and free porn aside, how do find girl Germany?" America asked.  
>"I don't know, but I'm not about to search room to room. If only there was some way to find her..."<p>

The two were suddenly interrupted by a woman loudly singing, turning their heads to find its source, they caught sight of an open window, steam billowing from it.

"How convenient." Canada said, as they snuck over to the under the window. America tossed the hook up again, and it hitched onto the windowsill.

"Okay, that window looks too small for me to get through with all my gear, so I'll leave it and my helmet." Canada said.  
>"Woah, there brother, who says <em>you<em> get to go up and take the picture?" America asked.  
>"Well, I have the camera." Canada replied.<br>" Gimmie it then! I'm going up!" America tried to reach for the camera.  
>"Fuck you! I'm taking the picture!"<p>

America glared at Canada.

"Looks like there's only one way to settle this." America said.  
>"I agree." Canada replied.<br>"The old decider?" America smirked.  
>"Best two out of three." Canada grinned.<p>

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" The two said at the same time.

Canada played paper, America chose rock.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" The two said again.

Canada chose scissors, America chose rock.

"ROCK,PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!" the two said for a third time.

Canada used paper, and America chose scissors.

"Well played brother, well played." Canada sighed as he handed America the camera.

Carefully ascending, America climbed through the window. On the other side of the shower curtain, Miss Germany was oblivious as the warm water rained on to her. As slowly as he could, America stuck the camera over the top and pointed it down into the shower. With a loud click and flash, the picture was taken, and in a split second, Miss Germany whipped back the curtain.

America stood frozen in fear.

"Okay," he thought, "I'll just turn invisible, like Canada." America thought.  
>"I can see you." Miss Germany glared.<p>

America let loose a curse before he was tackled to the ground by Miss Germany. From the ground, Canada could hear the sounds of a struggle.

"That's not going to end well." He thought aloud.

With the weight of Miss Germany on top of him, America tried to think fast. He'd managed to grab hold of her hands, but she was pressing down on him.

"Shit, shit, shit! What to do, what to do?" his mind raced. He looked down and saw he still had the camera around his neck. Thinking quickly, he lifted Miss Germany off of him and slid her across the floor. When she turned to face him America took another snapshot, the flash of the camera blinded her.

With what little time he had America slipped through the window, and slid down the rope.

"Did you get it?" Canada asked.  
>"Yeah, and now we've got one hell of a pissed off woman up there!" America said grabbing his pack and helmet. "Now run for your fucking life!"<p>

The two sprinted as fast as they could as Miss Germany, gaining back her vision, grabbed hold of a submachinegun, conveniently located near the shower, and began firing at the two brothers as they ran to the tree line.

"MP-40!" America shouted as the snow kicked up from bullet impacts behind them.  
>"I hear it, I hear it, I HEAR IT!" Canada wailed.<p>

The two dove into the treeline and stayed as motionless as they could. After reloading her weapon, Miss Germany leaned out the window.

"Where are you, you bastards?" She hissed as she scanned the trees.

"Al, whatever you do, don't move at all." Canada said, looking up at an enraged Miss Germany, halfway out the window.

Canada heard the sudden click of the camera. Canada looked over in horror and saw America had taken another picture.

"You idiot! Give me that!" Canada said, grabbing the camera from America. "Did she see the flash?"

A spray of bullets screamed above their heads, branches, pine needles and twigs fell onto them.

"Yeah she saw it." America replied.

The two ran as fast as they could through the trees until they reached an open area.

"Quick! Get on your skis!" Canada shouted.

Within moments, the two were heading down the mountain at high speed, narrowly dodging trees and rocks. But disaster struck when America veered too close to his brother, and the two collided, rolling and tumbling down the hill, with a large cloud of snow, the two landed in an open area.

"Ow." Canada said, rubbing his head.  
>"Sorry bro, I forgot to maintain an interval." America moaned.<br>"Did you see where my skis went? I think they flew off in the crash."  
>"Mine too. But we should be far enough right? There's no way they could get us now."<p>

The two heard the cocking of a handgun, and looked up to see Germany towering over them.

"Guten Tag!" Germany hissed.  
>"Hiya Mister America!" Italy smiled.<br>"Get up you two." Germany ordered.

Canada and America untangled themselves and got to their feet.

"Okay. I know this looks bad..." America started as Canada brushed the snow off of his parka.  
>"Oh, please. Enlighten me." Germany smiled.<br>"Well, see... me and my brother here, decided we wanted to go skiing! And there's nowhere like Germany for skiing right?"  
>"In enemy territory?" Germany asked.<br>"Oh, yeah, sure! Hell, next week we're thinking of hitting Mt. Fuji!"  
>"Do you usually ski in full winter camouflage, with small arms and hand grenades?" Japan asked.<br>"What, you don't?" Canada smirked.  
>"Yeah, so we'll just be leaving you three, nothing wrong, enjoy your ski trip!" America said, right before one of his packs burst open, spilling its lewd contents onto the snow. "That's... not good."<p>

With the strength of the entire Third Reich, Germany kicked America off into the horizon. America flew away, wailing and trailing magazines along the way. Germany then looked over to Canada.

"Aw, maple sugar." Canada sighed, before he was picked up and hammer thrown after his brother.

...

Taking another sip of his tea, England looked over his reports again.

"I wonder how America and Canada are doing?" he asked himself, hearing the wailing that was suddenly growing louder. Moments later, America crashed through the window, and in an explosion of junk food and adult periodicals, collided into the large suit of armour, previously standing in the corner of the room.

"Speak of the devil." England commented. "Making a dynamic entrance as always are we?"  
>"Well, you know me! I just can't enter through a boring old doorway." America moaned.<br>"Did you get that photograph I asked for?" England sighed, taking another sip of tea.  
>"Yep! Matt's got it."<br>"Speaking of, where is your brother anyway?"  
>"Oh, he should be arriving any minute now."<p>

In Russia's office, Ukraine sat at her desk and watched Lithuania as he nervously dusted the office, taking care not to break anything.

"Toris? Do you hear that sound?" Ukraine asked as she heard a far quieter, screaming, but one that was also increasing in volume.  
>"Is it Mister Russia? Is he coming back?" Lithuania stopped, quivering in fear.<br>"No, that doesn't sound like big brother."

Like his brother, Canada smashed through the window, and ploughed into an un-expecting Lithuania, knocking him to the ground before smacking into the wall.

"Hello Mister Canada." Lithuania said in a daze.  
>"Hi Lithuania, how's it going?" Canada replied, brushing some of the plaster from his head.<br>"Oh, you know... same old, same old."

Ukraine got up from her desk and rushed over to Canada's side.

"Are you okay?" She asked.  
>"Oh, hey honey... what are you doing here?" Canada replied<br>"This is big brother's office."  
>"Oh, I was three windows off then. Say, could you be a dear and bring this camera to England?" Canada held up the camera.<br>"Okay, sure."

"Do you need any help Mister Canada?" Lithuania asked.  
>"No, no. I'll be fine as soon as my brain goes back to the right orientation. I'll just drag myself to my office," Canada said. "Just as soon as my brain goes back to the right orientation."<br>"Are you sure you're okay?" Ukraine asked.  
>"Well, now that you mention it, I may have a slight concussion, but I'll be fine as soon as my brain goes back to the right orientation."<br>"Toris? Can you help Matthew back to his office?" Ukraine sighed.  
>"Okay, Katyusha." Lithuania replied, helping Canada out of the room.<p>

"Sorry about ploughing into you without warning." Canada said.  
>"Oh, it's fine... I'm used to it." Lithuania said.<br>"If it's any conciliation, I was aiming for Ukraine's chest." Canada chuckled. 


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

"No Plan Survives Contact With The Enemy."

Italy

1943

After a quick success in Sicily, where Canada had seen his first real campaign of the Second World War, the Allies had landed on the mainland. The surrender of the Italian government seemed imminent. The First Special Service Force would soon see its first action, at Monte La Difensa, where their hardened skills as mountain troops were put to the test, at a high cost.

While English, American and Commonwealth forces continued their drive up the Italian Boot, Canada and America themselves hop scotched between fighting alongside their soldiers, and their duty to the FSSF...

It was a calm, moon light evening. Peeking out from their position in a forest, Canada and America looked down at their target: a railway bridge, one of the links in the Axis supply chain.

"Looks undefended." America said, looking through his binoculars.  
>"I don't know. If there are guards, they'll be in that small shack down there." Canada said, pointing at a small building on the closest end of the bridge, light shining from a sole window.<br>"Do you have the explosives?" America asked.  
>"Yep." Canada replied. "Supply train should be crossing the bridge in fifteen minutes."<br>"Then let's get moving."

The two slid down the embankment, and dashed over to the building. They peeked into the window, and spotted a lone guard, listening to a record player. Canada lifted his finger to his lips, signalling his brother to stay quiet. America watched as Canada drew his V-42 knife, and slipped into the building. Canada crept up behind the guard and stabbed him in the neck. Letting the guard slump in his seat, Canada gestured to his brother to follow him. The two ran onto the bridge and over to a ladder, leading down onto a lower platform.

"Okay. You keep watch, and I'll set up the explosives." Canada said, getting down onto the ladder.  
>"No problem. Don't take long."<br>"I won't."

Taking a hold of the blasting wire, Canada climbed down the ladder to the lower platform of the stone bridge. He went over to the supports, and began placing TNT charges, linked with wire on them. Above, America looked around cautiously.

As he set the final charge, the silence was suddenly broken by the shrill blast of a train whistle. Canada paled as he looked at his watch.

"It's early!" He gasped.  
>"Matt! The train!" America shouted.<p>

Canada scrambled up the ladder, cursing all the way. When he reached the top, he saw America was halfway down the bridge, sprinting as he let the wire unspool from the holder. Canada sprinted after him, catching up when they reached a hill looking over the bridge.

"America! Wait!" Canada wheezed.  
>"No time! No time! Set it up!" America shouted.<p>

Canada looked back at the bridge, and past the forest on the other side, he saw black smoke appear.

"Shit, shit, **shit!**" he shouted as he pulled out the detonator.  
>"C'mon! C'mon! The train's almost here!" America shouted.<br>"I know, I know, **I KNOW!**" Canada screamed as he connected the wiring to the blasting caps."BLAST IT! BLAST IT NOW!"

America lifted the handle and slammed it back down, just as the train crossed the bridge. The explosives detonated, and the bridge, train and cargo crashed into the river, metal wailing as it bent and broke, sparks exploding. The locomotive flew off the tracks and crashed into the side of the mountain, the area shook and shuddered as the carnage reigned. When it was over, smoke billowed from the wreck, and fires began to light up the smashed cars.

"That was awesome!" America laughed, placing his hands on his hips as he watched a train car, and its cargo of panzers teeter and fall down onto the wreck, a loud crash accompanying it. "Nice work bro!"  
>"America?" Canada asked.<br>"Not now pal, I'm too busy enjoying this delicious explosion related afterglow." America replied, not taking his eyes off the wreck.  
>"We were supposed to be on the other side of the bridge when we blew it."<br>"Pfft, who cares? What difference does it really make?"  
>"Well, we're now on the other side of a destroyed bridge, with no way to get back across the river."<br>"Well... that's bad." America replied.  
>"And, you do realise that every kraut and eye-tie from here to Rome and back again will be swarming this place."<br>"I'm beginning to."  
>"And you realise we're about ten minutes from a nearby enemy garrison."<br>"I really wish I didn't."

The two made a quick dash into the woods, and ran until they hoped they were (hopefully) out of sight.

"God... fucking... dammit." Canada hissed.  
>"It's not that bad! We destroyed the bridge right?" America replied, trying to smile.<br>"Oh fuck you! It's your fault were stuck out here!"  
>"How is it <em>my<em> fault?"  
>"If you didn't run the wrong way, we wouldn't be in this mess!"<br>"I'm sorry!"  
>"No you're not! You're never sorry! You probably weren't even really sorry about the stock market crash!"<br>"You aren't still sore about that are you?"  
>"MINUS FORTY PERCENT GDP, YOU COLOSSAL ASSHOLE!"<p>

America looked at Canada. It was one of the few times he actually saw Canada get angry.

"Uhh..." America said, trying to say something.  
>"Just shut your face, while I try to figure out a way to get us out of this mess." Canada hissed as he tossed his helmet to the side, clattering as it hit a rock.<p>

America stared at Canada for a moment.

"Should... I cook some rations?" he asked sheepishly.  
>"Beat yourself to a bloody pulp, brother." Canada replied.<p>

America set up a small stove, and prepared a C ration, occasionally looking over at his brother, scowling over a map and compass.

For almost an hour, Canada studied his map, sighing occasionally as he tried to find a way back to friendly territory. After a while, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Looking back, he saw America, holding two steaming mess tins.

"Dinner's ready." America said sheepishly.

Canada took the tin, and a fork from him and looked back at the map. America sat down beside him.

"Have you found anything?" he asked. Canada placed the map on America's lap.

"As far as I can tell, we're here." Canada said, pointing to a spot on the map, near the red "x" that was once a bridge. "And as far as I can tell, we've got two ways to get back to Anzio. A short route, and a long route."

"What's the short way?" America asked.  
>"Well, the short way is we head to the west, until we reach this village here, then we head south, and then east, and bang, we're back at our lines." Canada explained.<br>"Well, what's wrong with that?"  
>"That route requires us to cross part of the Winter Line. The defence line we're being stopped at.<br>"What about the long way?" America asked.  
>"We follow the river until we reach this bridge here, cross it and run back home. It'll take a few days, though."<br>"I see. So, should we head west in the morning?" America asked. Canada replied with a slap to the back of his brothers head.  
>"I was kidding!" America laughed.<p>

Canada prodded the meat stew in his tin before he placed some into his mouth.

"This tastes like ass." Canada moaned. "Give me a proper tin of Bully Beef any day."  
>"Oh, yeah I'm sure your rations are the pinnacle of culinary excellence." America replied.<br>"No, but at least they taste like a woman's ass." Canada said as he took another bite. America couldn't help but give a chuckle.

It was at this point, that America spotted something in Canada's helmet.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked as he pulled it out of the helmet.  
>"That's none of your business!" Canada yelped, trying to grab the item from his brother.<p>

Upon closer inspection, America saw it was a photograph, a very provocative photograph of a familiar woman to be exact, with her shirt open, and overalls pushed down.

"Is that Ukraine? Where did you get this?" America exclaimed.  
>"None of your damn business! Give it back!" Canada tried to grab the photo.<p>

America flipped it over, there was writing on the back.

"To my dearest Matthew," he read aloud, "Please come back safe, Love Katyusha?"

Canada blushed as he snatched the photo away.

"Why, Matthew! Going after an older woman, you dog." America chuckled. "So, have you felt them?"  
>"Felt what?" Canada asked. America lifted his hands to his chest and made a squeezing motion, a bit of a perverted smirk on his face. "Oh, shove off!"<br>"Well, have you? How are they?"

Canada sat back for a moment.

"They're like...two big squishy marshmallows." He replied.

America began to laugh

"Oh, I'm so proud of you Matt!" America giggled, wiping tears from his eyes.  
>"Yeah, sure."<br>"Oh man, does Russia know?"  
>"<strong>NO<strong>, and if you know what's good for you, it'll stay that way." Canada growled.  
>"Okay, okay, I won't tell him." <p>

Canada looked over at America, who was staring at him in a quizzical manner.

"Is something wrong?" Canada asked.  
>"I'm still trying to picture you and Ukraine in a relationship." America replied.<br>"Why are you surprised?"  
>"It's just... you're so withdrawn... and shy... and quiet. You're, what do you call it... introverted."<br>"So is she." Canada replied.  
>"Yeah, but... how would you two have met anyway? You were a colony for a long assed time."<br>"She came looking for work around the turn of the century; lots of Ukrainians were immigrating to my country, so I hired her as a housekeeper. Then Russia decided to take her back before the First World War."  
>"Yeah, he pulled the same crap on me with Lithuania around the Depression."<br>"I...didn't know you swung that way."  
>"What? No! It wasn't like that you idiot!"<br>"Then why were you upset when Lithuania had to leave?"  
>"Because I like having someone else do my stuff for me, duh. So were you two playing around, even back then?"<br>"No, we didn't really start dating until recently."  
>"You're so modest Mattie. So how's she in bed?"<br>"A gentleman doesn't sleep and tell."  
>"Spoil sport."<p>

The two sat in silence for a moment.

"Alfred?" Canada said.  
>"Yeah?" America replied, stuffing his face.<br>"I'm sorry I yelled at you."  
>"It's all right. You had a good reason to."<br>"It was still kind of mean of me."  
>"It's fine. Things will be better come morning."<br>"Sure...sure." Canada sighed.

The night passed, and in the morning, the two set out on their journey back to friendly territory, unknown to them, they were also preparing to cut a bloody swathe across the German war machine as they did...

...

Authors Note:

_The iconic weapon of the Devil's Brigade, the V-42 Stiletto was a specialized combat blade specially designed for the First Special Service Force. According to the Force's commanders, they needed a blade that featured a thumb rest so that a man could easily slash at an enemy, but was also thin enough for a forceman to stab enemy soldiers in between the ribs. One of the FSSF's officers also demanded a spiked pommel fitted on the bottom of the knife, so that it could be used as a highly effective blunt weapon. _


	7. Chapter Six

_Authors Note: Feel free to listen to Un Dollaro Bucato from the Inglorious Basterds soundtrack during these walking scenes...and 'The Big Gundown' by Ennio Morricone towards the end... _

Chapter Six

"A Long Walk Home."

Somewhere in Southern Italy

1943

It was a picturesque Italian day as Canada and America made their trek to friendly territory. The Green trees were beginning to turn the beautiful colours of Autumn, and the temperature was near the point where it would match the scenery. Had it been any other circumstances, the two would have been surprised to remember there was a war being fought on these lands. But, the occasional convoy of German troops or vehicles passing by provided a stark reminder to the duo as they hid out of sight in ditches and thick culverts of trees.

"Sure is a lot of activity on these roads." America commented. He had his combat jacket tied around his waist, with his webbing and gear over his under shirt.  
>"Now that you mention it, yeah there is." Canada replied as he took another drag from the cigarette between his lips. "It's odd... according to the map this isn't a primary supply road for jerry."<br>"Y'think something's up?" America asked.  
>"I don't think so. I doubt Germany's planning anything that isn't defensive." Canada replied.<p>

The two continued on, hiding from convoys and patrols, and walking onwards, and as day slowly turned to night, the two were still walking.

"Can we rest soon?" America moaned.  
>"How about we just get over this next hill, and then we'll set up camp in the woods at the bottom."<br>"Okay, sure. Sounds good."

But as they arrived at the top of the hill, the two were struck by an unwelcome surprise. At the bottom of the hill, sat a small village, with a large number of enemy soldiers positioned amongst the buildings.

"Well, that explains all the activity." Canada said calmly.  
>"That's a lot of bad guys." America commented. "So what do we do?"<br>"Well, there's no way we can take these guys out by ourselves. We're vastly outnumbered."  
>"What about that camp over there? It's small, and looks like a lot less guys are there."<br>"Yeah, good idea. You know, this is a good opportunity to have some fun while we're out here."  
>"What do you mean?"<br>"Follow me, I'll show you."

The two walked around the village and approached the enemy camp.

"Okay, that looks like a barracks tent over there." Canada said.  
>"Right, so what do we do?" America whispered back.<br>"Leave everything here, and come with me."

Ditching their gear, the two crawled up to the tent. Canada drew his bayonet and cut a large vertical slit in the canvas and crawled inside. America followed him.

Inside, the cots were occupied by sleeping German soldiers. Canada shushed his brother and crawled up to one of the Germans. America watched as Canada gently slid the soldier's jackboots off his feet, before he took them back to America.

"Here, toss them in the woods." Canada said, handing America the boots.

Systematically, Canada removed each and every boot and had America get rid of them. Then, he did the same with the soldier's weapons, helmets and tunics.

"I can't believe you did that!" America giggled as they snuck through the forests.  
>"Yep, they'll be in for a nasty surprise come morning."<br>"Oh, if I could see the look on their faces!"  
>"I'd rather not."<p>

The two snuck off into a position they hoped was safe, and slept the rest of the night. When morning came, they had a quick breakfast, before setting off again. In time, they caught sight of an enemy fuel depot.

. They eventually came upon another German camp, and decided to wait for night time before they struck.

"Okay, looks like we've got the element of surprise on our side." Canada said.  
>"So how are we doing this one?"<br>"We'll sneak in the way we did last time. Then, we'll start cutting throats."  
>"Lead on, bro." America whispered.<p>

Like the previous night, Canada cut his way into the tent, and crawled up to the closest soldier in one of the lines, and, placing his hand over the man's mouth, he quickly drew his blade across his throat. When he was certain the man was dead, he snuck over to the third man, and then the fifth man and so on, until every second soldier was sleeping between a dead man on each side. Canada crawled back to his brother and the two escaped.

"Why didn't you cut all their throats?" America asked.  
>"Think about it. Wouldn't you be more freaked if you woke up and both guys sleeping next to you were dead?" Canada replied.<br>"Yeah, definitely."  
>"Anyway, from what I can wager, the next point we should be reaching is the bridge that should lead us into our territory."<br>"No doubt It'll be guarded."  
>"Right, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it... No pun intended."<p>

The following morning, in the camp the devils had visited during the night, Germany slept peacefully in his bunk, peacefully that is until he was startled awake by a chorus of panicked screams. Dashing from his bunk he ran over to the tent where the screams were coming from.

"What in the hell are you all screaming about?" He shouted, before he saw the grizzly scene. The soldiers, as Canada had predicted, found themselves amongst the dead. With a terrifying sense of Deja vu, Germany thought back to an earlier war...

...

The Western Front

1917

Somewhere in Belgium

Germany awoke to the din of artillery off in the distance. He was cold and wet, something he had accustomed himself two after four years in the trenches. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he looked in front of him, at the man who was sleeping across from him.

"Hey, do you have any cigarettes left?" Germany asked, prodding the man with his foot, but the soldier was motionless.  
>"I'm talking to you!" Germany leaned forward and lifted the man's head, and recoiled in horror when he saw a knife wound in the man's throat, the blood that had been seeping from it long dried, his eyes open and dull.<br>"Hey! Wake up! Verner's been stabbed!" Germany shook the man beside him, but the man fell over, and Germany saw that he had also been killed in the night.  
>"What the hell is going on here?" Germany cried as he ran up and down the trench area, only to discover that the entire squad of men had been killed in the night.<p>

"This entire line's been murdered!" He ran into the command dugout, only to discover that it was empty, the officers inside where nowhere to be found, nor were their maps. The only thing left was a letter, pinned to the wall with a British Bayonet. Germany tore the note down. It read:

Dear Fritzie,

Very sorry for the lack of commotion last night, but it would have awoken you and allowed you to stop our little raid. We've taken your officers here, as well as your trench's layout. You should really come to your senses and surrender as the ass kicking will continue until you do so.

Sincerely,  
>The Canadian Corps<p>

P.S.

Thanks for the Iron Cross!

Germany looked down, and to his shock, discovered the medal he wore around his neck was gone.

...

The next night, Canada and America walked cautiously towards the bridge. As they got over the crest of the hill, they saw the bridge below them, heavily defended by the Germans, with two sets of concrete pillbox defences covering both ends, and a house, which they deduced was probably the headquarters for the defense.

"And there she is. We cross that, and it's only another mile or so to friendly territory." Canada said.  
>"Yeah, but how are we going to get past the guards?" America whispered.<p>

It was at that time the two heard an engine approaching. They looked behind them, and spotted a trucj driving towards them. Diving in to a ditch on the side of the road, the two waited for the truck to pass, only for it to stop.

Cautiously, the two peeked over the edge of the trench, and saw that the truck's German driver was on the opposite side of the road, relieving himself.

"Take him out or let him go. It's your call." Canada shrugged.

America crawled out of the trench and crept up behind the driver. He drew his blade and stabbed the man between the ribs. Canada joined him as he rolled the corpse into the ditch.

"What was that kraut moving anyway?" America asked.  
>"Let's find out." Canada replied.<p>

Canada moved the tarp away, revealing a collection of weapons and ammunition crates in the back.

"He must be supplying the guys holding this bridge!" America said.  
>"This gives me an idea."<br>"What is it?"  
>"First thing," Canada said, cracking open a crate of grenades, "grab some of these potato mashers."<p>

America and Canada divided the grenades; sticking them into every conceivable spot they could be carried.

"Now, you see if you can jam the steering wheel forward, while I mess about back here."

America moved to the truck's cab, and broke open the steering column under the dashboard and began to fiddle with it.

...

On the opposite end of the bridge, a small group of brown skinned soldiers, dressed and armed with Commonwealth pattern weapons and uniforms looked out through the trees. Their leader peered out through her binoculars.

"It looks like at least four squads of German soldiers," The woman said in Hindi. "Four pillboxes, the two at the opposite end are pointed right down the bridge, and there are probably more Germans inside them and the house."

She pushed the black hair out her eyes and turned to the Sergeant laying on his stomach beside her.

"If we go down that bridge, we'll be slaughtered. So Jai, I want squads twelve and thirteen to set up on this treeline, as well as in the trees on the opposite side of this road. When we begin the attack, I want them to cover us with the Bren guns and with rifle fire. If even a single German sticks his square head out from cover, I want his skull emptied. In the meantime, I'll take number ten squad up the left side of this road. There won't be much cover, so we'll have Kavi and his mortar team lay down a smokescreen."

She turned to look at the Sergeant on her other side.

"Nanda, while we're advancing on the left, I want you and squad eleven to use the ditch over there to flank around the pillboxes and try to cross the river. England tells me it's only a foot or two deep, so you shouldn't have any problems."

The moustached soldier nodded in acknowledgement.

"Hopefully my squad will be able to get as close as we can so we can hit the pillboxes with either the PIATs or with hand grenades. We'll then try to cross the riverbed, and we can hit the pillboxes and squads in a pincer movement. Jai, when you see me get to that small dip in the field there, signal for the smokescreen. Good luck."

...

"Okay, that's done." America said, walking back to his brother.

Canada slid a crate over to him.

"Open that and take what's inside." Canada said, as he broke open another crate.

America bashed open the box, and discovered two Panzerfaust anti-tank weapons inside.

"So, are you going to tell me what your plan is?" America asked.  
>"I found a bunch of explosives in the back of this truck." Canada explained, as he draped machinegun belts over his shoulders. "My guess is that they were either going to blow the bridge and withdraw tonight, or wait until we tried to take it, then blow it and some of our troops with it. Here's what we're going to do. I've armed a bunch of these charges, and I'll arm another one to go off on a thirty second fuse."<p>

Canada picked up an MG-42 machine gun and loaded another belt of ammunition into it.

...

The soldiers on the other side carefully crawled to the point from which they would attack the bridge. They stayed completely still, hoping not to catch the attention of the Germans.  
>...<p>

"We put a rock on the gas pedal, push it over the edge and have it roll down the hill. The charges will hopefully go off when it's in the middle of those jerries. Even if it doesn't kill anyone, which I doubt, it'll still distract them enough for us to get across that bridge."

"Or it'll alert them right to us." America said.  
>"That's why we're taking these, as extra assurance." Canada said, sliding another crate over to America. "Here, it's a belated birthday present."<p>

America opened the crate, and discovered it contained an MP-43 Assault rifle, with plenty of ammunition.  
>"Woah! This is one of those prototype kraut automatics!"<br>"Yeah, I hope you like it."

Canada took one of the charges and began to set the dial.

"Get a big rock will ya?" he asked.

America reached down into the ditch and grabbed one of the larger ones.

"Will this do?" he asked.  
>"Perfect. Stand by the cab and wait for my signal."<p>

America walked up beside the cab.

"Ready?" he asked.  
>"Let's do it!" Canada replied, tossing the armed explosive into the truck.<p>

"Heads up schnitzel lickers!" America shouted as he pressed the horn a few times, before jamming the rock on the accelerator.

The truck lurched forwards, and hurtled down the hill. From the top, the brothers watched as the truck screamed towards the Germans at the bottom. As the truck crashed into one of the pillboxes, its deadly cargo detonated in a massive fireball. On the opposite end of the bridge, the soldiers watched the scene unfold.

"What in the name of Shiva?" the woman cried as she watched the truck hit its target before it exploded

America and Canada sprinted down the hill, screaming like demons as they sprayed rounds of ammunition at the Germans.

As the ammunition in the truck burned and cooked off, and burning debris rained down from the sky, the defenders began to fire at their assailants. Adding to the confusion, the soldiers on the opposite end began their attack as well. The sounds of gunfire echoed through the night. The dull thumps of Bren guns mixed with the whines of Schmeisser Machine Pistols, the shrieks of MG-42 machineguns, and the rhythmic pops and bangs of bolt action rilfes.

"Al! Use one of those Panzerfausts to knock out that other pillbox!" Canada yelled as he let loose a spray of covering fire at a group of Germans, smashing some to the ground, and causing others to dive for cover.

"Chaudhri! Hit that pillbox with the PIAT, now!" The woman shouted as she jammed a fresh magazine into her smoking Sten gun.

America pointed the weapon at the open port of the other concrete structure, the machine gun spraying rounds of deadly tracer fire at them. At the same time, one of the soldiers aimed the PIAT launcher at the pillbox firing at the other side.

America managed to fire the Panzerfaust, the shaped charge at the end shot forward, sailing into the pillbox before exploding, smoke and fire billowed from the open ports as a few Germans, some beating out their flaming uniforms as they ran from the bunker.

The other soldier was not as lucky, the bomb from his PIAT landed in the emplacement, but it didn't detonate, and before he could reload the launcher, a bullet slammed into his leg and brought him to the ground with a scream of pain.

"Is someone else attacking the bridge?" America shouted as he discarded the used launcher.  
>"They must be! Try take out that other pillbox, help them out!" Canada replied as he began hurling stick grenades into the windows of the house, the glass that wasn't smashed by the grenade passing through it being blown out by the blasts.<p>

America ran to the riverbank and quickly fired his last Panzerfaust into the back of one of the pillboxes, with the same devastating effect. He turned and began to fire at the Germans with his assault rifle.

Running around the other pillbox, the woman took a fragmentation grenade from her webbing, pulled the pin and tossed it into the bunker. After the Grenade detonated, she sprayed down any survivors inside with her Sten.

"Go! Get Across the bridge! Forget the river!" she cried, sprinting across the bridge. The soldiers followed her lead. As they got to the other side, one of the Germans dropped his weapon and placed his hands on his head.

"Kameraden! Nicht Schiessen, Nicht Schiessen!" The soldier shouted, his comrades followed suit, dropping their weapons and surrendering.

As the soldiers began to round up the surrendering Germans and tended to those who had been wounded in the attack on both sides, the woman turned and saw America and Canada, walking towards them, laughing and pating each other on the back.

"Did you see that one kraut run?" America laughed.  
>"He was pissing himself, he was so scared!" Canada chuckled as he tossed the now ammoless machinegun aside. He laughed until he caught sight of the woman, her arms crossed, and an angry look on her face.<p>

"Oh, hi India, fancy meeting you here." Canada said.

India grabbed him by the ear.

"Care to explain why you're wearing an American uniform, Matthew?" India asked, twisting his ear.  
>"It's (ow!) Part of this (ow!) thing!" Canada explained, his head tilted in pain.<br>"Well then, why did you drive a truck full of explosives into the middle of a bridgehead we were attempting to capture? That wasn't very nice."  
>"Well, we did help, didn't we?" America giggled at his brother's situation.<br>"And we're appreciative of that, America. However, I don't like you dragging Matthew into these kinds of schemes! Corrupting him with your materialistic ways and unsubtle ways of warfare! Next thing you know he'll be eating thousands of hamburgers, made of cow no less, and listening to poorly written music focusing solely on a woman's bottom!"  
>"OW! For fuck's sake Jayashri, I'm not a colony anymore! I'm a Dominion, (Ow!) I get to make my own decisions! And will you please let go of my ear?" Canada whined.<br>"And what kind of language was that? Is that any way to speak to your elders?"

India began to drag Canada away by the ear.

"I'm going to wash that filthy mouth of yours out! Then we'll see what England has to say about this!" India scolded.  
>"Oh, come on! Really? REALLY?" Canada cried<br>"Have fun bro!" America called to him.  
>"Kiss my great white north Al!" Canada shouted back.<br>"That's right, keep it up, mister." India squeezed Canada's ear tighter.  
>"Hey Miss India! Do you want to know some of the things he says when you're not around?" America laughed.<p>

"You can't stop me from eating cow! And you know what? It's delicious! ARGH!"


	8. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"The Black Devils Brigade."

Anzio, Italy 1944.

After the famed climb and assault of Monte La Difensa, the FSSF fought valiantly in Italy's mountains, before they were sent to aid in the landings at Anzio. The Italian campaign had been brought to a standstill and the landings at Anzio were seen as a way to bypass the defences at Monte Cassino, but now, the landings were in jeopardy, and the men at Cassino were tasked with saving the men who were meant to be their saviours...

As dawn covered the Anzio beachhead, Canada and America sat in front of England, who stood in front of a large map.

"Alright Gents, as you two no doubt know, the landings aren't going very, due in part to the large railway cannons which have set up..."

England was cut off by a loud explosion, and the shudder of the ground beneath them.

"...and are presently shelling our positions. Unfortunately, there's no way we can get them at this time, so we'll have to deal with them the best we can. Your objective however will be something on a much more important scale."

"What do you want us to do England? Capture an enemy officer? Blow up bridges? Get you more nudie pics?" America asked.  
>"I told you those were for scientific research!" England protested.<br>"Hey man, we're not here to judge." America replied.  
>"Any way, if you'd let me continue. Our intelligence networks have informed us that another railway gun is being brought closer to our lines. While the two closer to Rome haven't been able to accurately target our ships, this third gun will be able to hit it far more easily. And considering the difficulty we've had in destroying these due to their mobility, I don't need to explain how critical the need is for its destruction. Your orders are to proceed to this canyon, where we believe the gun will be set up, and destroy it."<p>

"You can count on us England. Consider that gun destroyed." America boasted.  
>"Jolly good then. Good luck and be careful."<p>

After collecting their gear and darkening their faces, Canada and America set off to locate their target. After following the roads for an hour or two, they came upon the canyon, a large barrel jutting out of it.

"That must be it." Canada whispered, as the two peeked out from a field of tall grass.  
>"Looks like Germany's over compensating for something." America whispered back.<br>"Alright, let's try to sneak down."

The two crawled forward, but as they approached the lip of the canyon, the huge cannon suddenly fired, lighting up the area and emitting a deafening blast.

"Geez, that's loud!" America said.  
>"Ow! My ears! Let's get this thing destroyed before it fires again." Canada whispered.<br>"What?"  
>"I said let's... never mind."<br>"What?"

The two climbed down the canyon wall, taking cover behind a stack of crates. They took out the guard standing nearby and dragged his body behind the boxes.

"Okay, We'll need to do this fast, and quietly." Canada said.

The two snuck out behind the crates, only to be spotted by a patrolling guard. His cry of alarm was cut off by a round from Canada's rifle. The Canyon exploded in alarm as every German soldier in the area began firing at the two.

"Cover me, I'm going to set up these charges!" Canada shouted.

As America fired at the German troops with his Thompson, Canada sprinted to the gun. He quickly stabbed one of the soldiers on the gun platform, before he started to set the timers on his explosive charges.

"Five minutes should be enough to get them all set." Canada whispered as he slapped the sticky side of the Comp B charge onto the gun. Canada did his job with quick efficiency, and soon he had the cannon completely mined.

"Alfred! Unless you want to be charcoal, I suggest we get out of here!" he shouted as he ran up to America.

The two bolted up the canyon wall, occasionally pausing to let loose a pistol shot. As America helped Canada over the cliff face, the charges on the gun exploded, causing a great fireball to smash the cannon apart.

"Ha! That wasn't so hard!" America laughed.  
>"Maybe so, but I think those gentlemen would like to share some harsh words with us." Canada said pointing to a pair of German halftracks speeding down the road towards them.<p>

As the machine gun mounted on top of one of the halftracks sprayed tracers at them, Canada and America took cover behind an old stone wall.

"Hey, Matt?" America asked as he jammed a new magazine into his Thompson.  
>"Yeah?" Canada replied as he let loose well aimed shots at the panzer grenadiers emerging from the halftracks.<br>"You got any spare ammo?" America asked.  
>"I'm running low myself, where's your spare ammo belt?"<br>"I think I might have left it in the canyon."  
>"Lord Stanley's Cup, Al! You'd forget your own ass if it wasn't screwed on to you! Next time bring an ammo vest if you're going to do crap like that!"<br>"Sorry! I was a bit too distracted by the Germans shooting at us!"  
>"Yeah, well if we don't get the hell out of dodge soon the only thing we'll be worrying about is what colour robe we want at the pearly gates!"<p>

The two bolted down the road, firing backwards as they ran. The Panzer grenadiers leapt over the bodies of their fallen comrades as they chased after them.

"Well, this is great. We've got no ammunition, and two halftracks worth of soldiers biting at our heels." Canada said, as a spray of machine gun fire kicked up the dirt behind them.

"Not to mention the halftracks as well!" America replied.

It was at this point that gunfire burst out from the trees in front of them, cutting down the German soldiers, with bazooka rockets exploding the halftracks.

Canada and America paused, before turning to see a small group of force men emerge from the trees, with a woman dresses similarly to them at their front, a rocket launcher under her arm and a baseball bat hanging from her backpack.

"Well, fancy meeting you two here!" The woman smiled  
>"Angela! What the hell are you doing here?" America asked his female counterpart.<br>"Saving yer ass, as usual." The woman giggled, as she walked over to them.

"And how are you doing, Mister Canada?" She asked, pinching him on the cheek.  
>"I'm fine, it's getting a little awkward, but I'm fine." Canada whispered.<br>"That little whispery voice of yours is just precious, y'know that?"  
>"Um... thanks." Canada said.<br>"For the compliment, or pulling your bacon out of the fire?"

"Speaking of bacon," America interjected, "Is anyone else hungry? Because I am starving!"

_Authors Note: Sorry If this Chapter is a bit on the weak side, but I couldn't think of something to bridge between the previous chapter and the next two, which I promise will be much better._


	9. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

"Operation Northern Havoc."

Italy, 1944.

As the Devil's Brigade forged their reputation with a story written in the blood of Nazi soldiers, Canada and America found their way of warfare to be sinisterly effective. The 'Schwartzen Teufel' were what the Germans at Anzio grew to call the men who would strike into their line in the darkness, killing many without even a single sound, creating panic and fear before slipping back into the night. The Force men would cover their faces in black boot polish before they when out on their attacks, and on each sentry they killed, they would place a sticker, with their unit patch and the words "The Worst is Yet to Come..." written on in German. A story from the unit said they swore that for each force man who was killed, the Black Devils would kill ten Germans in return.

But as the patrols went ever deeper into enemy lines, and the Black Devils advanced with the regular soldiers closing in ever so tighter to Rome, Canada and America were often called to perform specialized tasks well suiting men of their skill, and more often than not sheer insanity...

"America! America!"

France dashed through the Allies camp, not stopping for anyone or anything.

"America! Something terrible has happened!" France ran into the main briefing tent, where he found America, with his legs propped up on a table. Canada was with him, washing boot polish from his face.

"Oh, hello France. What's wrong?" Canada asked.  
>"Where have you two been all this time?"<br>"Cutting the lives of German soldiers short, where else?" America said, eyes closed.  
>"Well while you two were out playing your little games, ENGLAND GOT HIMSELF CAPTURED!" France shouted.<br>"Oh gee, how awful. Whatever shall we do? Oh, woe is us." America said in a monotone voice.

Canada walked over to him, grabbed his legs and flipped him off the chair. America landed with a dull thud on the ground.

"Al, this is really serious!" Canada said.  
>"Oh how bad can it be? Do we <em>really <em>need him?" America moaned.

Canada leaned over his brother.

"You are aware that England has been the one making nearly every strategic plan we've done, are currently doing, and are going to do, right?"  
>"So what? It's not that hard! Hell, I've been doing great in the Pacific with my own plans!" America answered.<br>"And he's the one who's been putting together, that thing, at that place, at that time that we're not supposed to talk about?"  
>"Which one was that?"<br>"It's the one that starts with 'Over' and ends in the invasion of Western Europe!" Canada whispered.

America shot upright.

"OH GOD WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM!" America shouted.  
>"And the last pony finally crosses the finish line..." Canada sighed.<br>"Well where is he?" America asked.  
>"How the hell would I know?" France shouted.<br>"How did that damn limey even manage to get himself caught?"

"Well... that I do know..." France said, looking at his feet.

...

An Hour or so earlier, near an Italian village.

"Alright France," England whispered from the bushes. "I'll go and look for their battle plans, you need to stay here and create a distraction if I get caught."  
>"I can handle it. Don't worry." France replied.<p>

"That's what you said about the Maginot line..." England thought.

Slipping from his concealed position, England snuck over to the spot where he had watched a high ranking officer leave. He opened the door and crept inside.

"Canada and America might be the masters of the brute force approach to this," England thought as he searched the room. "But when a more subtle and tactile approach is needed, there's no one better than the boy from Baker's Street."

Cracking open one of the safes in the room, England discovered a small assortment of files and documents.

"Hah! I'll show them who's the best snooper in the Allies!" England chuckled to himself. With his work done, England casually walked out the door.

Into the waiting arms of a squad of SS soldiers, their weapons aimed right at him.

"Oh, for the love of tea and biscuits." England sighed, raising his arms above his head.

Germany stepped forward, a pistol in hand.

"Nice to see you here England." Germany said.  
>"Sorry I can't share the compliment." England replied.<br>"Yes, well, not everything can go as planned."

England looked behind the soldiers, only to see that France had run away.

"Why do I even trust that frog's leg chewing sneak?" England thought, before he felt the butt of a rifle knock him out.

...

"So, you threw him to the wolves, and ran away like a little girl." America said when France finished his story.  
>"I did not! I just chose to make a tactical withdrawal, that's all!" France replied.<br>"Well, that still doesn't, y'know, tell us where he is, and we need to find him, and fast or next thing you know, he's been shipped off to Colditz, and we're, as Australia would say, _up shit creek in a barbed wire rowboat with no paddle_." Canada sighed.

"You may not know where he is, but _I_ do!" Came a voice from the entrance of the tent.

The three looked, and saw Miss South Italy, calmly looking in.

"SPY!" America cried, quickly drawing his pistol and aiming it at her.  
>"I'm not a spy, silly boy." South Italy giggled, brushing the hair from her eyes.<br>"Yeah, she and Romano changed sides last September." Canada took the pistol from his brother. "But what the heck are you doing here?"  
>"Well, when I heard that England had been captured," South Italy said as she slowly paced over to Canada, "I knew it was an opportunity to come and see <em>you<em>."  
>"And I'm certain I told you that I was taken, Miss Romana."<br>"Oh... why must you keep playing with my heart like that?" South Italy pouted playfully.

"I'm sorry, but, ENGLAND, CAPTURED, MUST BE RESCUED!" France shouted at the top of his lungs.  
>"Oh, right. So where the heck is he?" Canada asked.<br>"Germany took him to a temporary spot near an Archaeological site North of here. It 's way too well guarded though, with not only an SS but a Gestapo garrison, so you'll never get in."  
>"Not the first time a woman's said that to me." America said, standing up.<p>

"C'mon brother, let's go bail him out." Canada said, putting on his jacket.  
>"Were you not listening to her?" America said, following his brother.<br>"We'll be fine, grab your gear and don't worry about it." Canada assured him.  
>"Do you even have a plan?"<br>"No, I'm gonna take a page from your book and just make it up as I go."

"We're going to die. We are going to die." America sighed.

_Authors Note: You may be wondering why I'm not focusing more on the night raids. It's because as interesting and awesome they were, you're reading this for Canada and America to pull off crazy assed shenanigans and kill Germans, and I don't want to write something like five chapters all "Canada and America go out and stab Germans," because that would get a bit monotonous after a while. I feel the Inglorious Basterds style of action suits this story a bit more.  
><em>


	10. Chapter Nine

_Authors Note: The Opinions expressed by certain characters in this chapter do not reflect the opinions of the author._

Chapter Nine

"Heinous Acts of Interrogation."

Italy, 1944

Temple Site #19.

As Canada and America raced to the dig site, England woke up in a converted cell within the temple ruins. The back of his head still stung from the pain, and his vision was blurry. But it soon focused, and he saw his captor standing in front of him.

"Good to see you have awakened." Germany said, as England discovered his hands were bound with ropes behind the back of a chair.  
>"You really didn't have to knock me out." England replied.<br>"Yes, yes we did." Germany replied.  
>"Aww... say, are you still upset that your little Mediterranean boy toy finally came to his senses and ditched your sorry arse? And then he came and joined up with us?"<p>

Germany kicked the chair up and flipped England onto his back, who howled in pain when he landed on his arms. Germany flipped him back up.

"Ha! I was right! So, what's your plan? Torture, get as much as you can out of me?" England asked.  
>"Yes, well that's the idea." Germany replied, walking around his prisoner.<br>"Better men than you have tried and failed to get information from me." England smirked.  
>"I can assure you, my methods are far different than anything you've ever faced."<br>"Hah! That's a gag. Do your worst. I'll never talk."  
>"Then I'll have to bring in the specialist."<p>

Germany stepped out of the room, and England listened to his boot steps fade off. As he tested his restraints, he heard someone coming down the hall, the steps coming closer and closer, until the steel door creaked open, and to his surprise, Hungary stood in the doorway, a large briefcase under her arm.

"Really? You're my torturer? I thought it was going to be someone awful." England laughed.  
>"Torture? Germany didn't say anything about torture; he said you wanted to listen to my stories!" Hungary said as she closed the door and sat beside England.<br>"S-stories?" England asked.  
>"Oh, yes! I have so many I want to read to you!" She said, eagerly digging in the briefcase. "Ooh, this one's one of my favourites! Are you ready?"<br>"I... suppose." England replied cautiously.  
>"This one's entitled: <em>Romance in the Mansion<em>, a Chibitalia and Holy Roman Empire yaoi pairing..."

From their spot near the dig site, America and Canada heard a blood-curdling screaming.

"Oh my God, what are they doing to him?" America paled.  
>"I don't know, but we'd better get him, and soon." Canada replied.<br>"How? I can see a freaking Panther Tank near the front gate, machine guns everywhere, and not only that, but the place is crawling with SS Jackboots!"  
>"You're acting like this will be hard." Canada calmly replied.<br>"And even if we do manage to get him, how are we going to escape?"

Canada pointed at a spot in the camp.

"See that staff car, it'll be our escape plan." He whispered.  
>"Okay, you've planed how we'll get out. But we need to get in first!" America hissed.<p>

Canada tapped him on the side and pointed down the road. America looked, and saw two figures, clearly soldiers, casually walking up the hill.

"Just follow my lead." Canada said, before he and America crept away.

The two soldiers calmly walked up the hill, approaching an Ancient Roman structure, very small. From the opposite side, America gripped the stock of his Thompson.

"Hey, batter, batter... hey, batter, batter, hey, batter, batter, hey batter..." He whispered as the two soldiers approached him.

"Hey batter swing!" He cried as he spun around the corner, planting the butt of his weapon inthe face of one of the soldiers. Before the other could shout an alarm, Canada lept from inside the structure and tackled him, quickly knocking him out.

"See, that wasn't so hard." Canada said, dragging one of the unconscious guards out of sight.  
>"Laugh it up, laugh it up." America replied as he dragged the other.<p>

...

"_...and with a final ecstatic kiss, Prussia fell asleep on Austria's well chiselled chest... The End_." Hungary looked over to England, foaming at the mouth with his eyes showing signs of intense pain. Germany opened the door and peeked in.  
>"And how are we doing?" he asked.<br>"Kill me." England sobbed.  
>"Later." Germany replied sinisterly before he closed the door.<br>"Oh, I always love that one." Hungary said, blushing and holding the text close to her chest.  
>"Look, if there's no bloody way out of this, do you at have anything with lesbians? Or, at the very least <em>something <em>heterosexual?"  
>"Nope, it's all adorable boy on boy action!" Hungary giggled with delight. "Here, I'll read you another one I wrote, I'll warn you, it's a bit on the naughty side... I call it, <em>Axis Bath House Fun!<em>"

...

"There's that scream again." Canada said as he buttoned up the tunic he had _acquired_ from one of the SS troopers.  
>"Christ, they must be cutting off a piece of him and sewing it back on or something." America replied, double checking the gag on one of the knocked out soldiers.<br>"Right, so we'll sneak into the dig site, find England, and get the hell out of dodge." Canada tucked his distinctive curl underneath a cloth field cap.  
>"Yeah, if there's anything left." America said, handing Canada the bolt action rifle one of the Germans had been wielding, and slinging an MP-40 over his shoulder.<p>

Checking that the coast was clear, the two casually walked towards the dig site.

"Y'know, these Kraut uniforms ain't half bad. Pretty stylish if you ask me." America commented.  
>"Kinda tight in the crotch area, 'though." Canada smirked.<br>"Oh, yeah! Me too, me too!"

Eventually, the front guard post came into view, a single sentry standing vigil.

"How's your German?" Canada asked.  
>"Awful." America replied.<br>"Then keep quiet."

The two walked up to the guard, who let them through, sharing a courteous nod as they walked past.

"That wasn't so hard." America whispered.  
>"Told you so. Now keep quiet, we're not out of the woods yet." Canada replied.<p>

As they walked over a small rise, the full camp came into view, and there were dozens of guards milling about.

"Okay, stay casual, remember, we're jackbooted and evil subservient goons of an insane madman, definitely not Allied Infiltrators." Canada whispered.  
>"Jawohl." America replied.<p>

The two carefully walked through the camp towards the ruins, trying to avoid as much eye contact with the SS troops.

...

"... and they all agreed that they would have just as much fun every single night from then on. The End!"  
>Hungary looked over to England, who looked as broken as broken could be, his wrists dripping blood from his panicked attempts to break free of his bonds . "Didn't you just love it? Especially when Germany and Japan took Italy and..."<br>"I heard it... and I want it to stop..." England wheezed.  
>"Wait here and I'll go and get some of the new ones I wrote! They're the most adorable things you'll ever hear!"<p>

Hungary quickly left the cell, skipping along the way, and exited the ruins in sight of America and Canada.  
>"Oh shit, is that Hungary?" America asked.<br>"Crap! Just...look casual!"

Canada and America tilted their head coverings and walked past Hungary. Hungary turned and looked at the two as they walked away.  
>"Hmm... those two looked familiar." She thought. "...and adorable!"<p>

Canada and America walked through the light corridor. There was a soldier standing guard in a small room.

What's your business here? The guard asked.  
>High Command radioed. They want the British Prisoner sent to Berlin immediately. Canada replied.<br>I wasn't told about this. Let me just ask the commander... the prisoner reached for a telephone receiver, only for America to quickly stab him in the back. The guard gurgled as he fell to the ground.

"What? He was going to blow our cover!" America said.  
>"I know. Just watch the door, I'll go get our boy." Canada said as he grabbed the guard's keys.<p>

Unlocking the door, Canada walked down the hallway, checking inside each cell. Eventually he found the one that England was inside. He unlocked the door and walked inside. England's head was hanging low, and he was unmoving. Canada quickly drew a knife and cut England loose.

"Ah HAH!" England cried before he whipped his head backwards, head butting Canada. England lept on top of his rescuer and began to throttle him.

"No more! No sodding more! Do you hear me?" England growled as he squeezed Canada's throat.  
>"Arthur... it's me!...Canada!" Canada croaked.<p>

The shaking of his head caused his cap to fly off. England quickly let him go.

"Bloody hell! Canada? Oh, hell I'm sorry, lad!" England said.  
>"It's fine, it's fine." Canada wheezed. "Oh, shit, where are my glasses?"<p>

England reached over and picked up Canada's now smashed glasses.

"Oh, great. Thanks, thanks a lot." Canada said, tossing the smashed lenses aside.  
>"Are you going to be alright?" England asked, rubbing his bloody wrists.<br>"Yeah, my eyes aren't that bad." Canada blinked.  
>"Is it just you?" England asked as he helped Canada up.<br>"No, America's with me." Canada said grabbing his rifle.

Suddenly the two heard someone shout an alarm, before a burst of fire echoed through the corridor.

"That doesn't sound good." England said, right before the sounds of an alarm klaxon began to wail.

Sprinting down the corridor, the two emerged and saw America standing over another dead German.

"Oh hey, you got him!" America said.  
>"Yeah, let's go, let's go!" Canada shouted.<p>

The three ran up the stairs and back into the night, but were spotted by one of the soldiers.

ALARM! THE PRISONER IS ESCAPING!

Canada shot the guard and re-chambered the bolt. The three sprinted to the motorpool, cutting down any one in their way.

"Quick! You two cover me, I'll hotwire this Mercedes!" England ordered.

As England quickly tried to activate the engine, Canada and America held off the quickly approaching SS soldiers.

"England? How are we doing?" America shouted over the gunfire.  
>"Almost... almost... almost... there! I've got it! I've got it!" England shouted as the engine roared to life.<p>

The three piled into the staff car.

"Okay, Hit it!" Canada shouted from the back seat as he shot another Nazi in the chest.

The Mercedes screamed forwards, America and Canada held on tight as England sped through the camp like a mad man, ploughing through the front gate and down the road.

"Are they following us?" England shouted.

Canada looked back and saw a trio of motorcycles armed with machinegun sidecars following them, supported by Germany himself in a Kubelwagon.

"Yep!" Canada screamed as he and America fired at their pursuers.

Canada tried his best to aim at one of the motorcycle drivers, the bucking of the car, throwing off his aim. He fired, the bullet smashing into the man's arm, throwing him off, and flipping it, ejecting his passenger as well. Germany swerved his car around the wreck and kept going forward. America stood up in the front seat and let loose a burst at another motorcycle. The driver swerved, but lost control, sailing into a ditch by the side of the road.

Although two less in their numbers, the pursuing Germans were steadfast in their chase. England tried to steer the staff car as best he could down the dirt roads as Canada and America fended them off with weapons fire.

Rounding a bend, the trio headed for a thin wooden bridge.

"There! That should be the way to our lines!" America shouted.  
>"Alright if you say so!" England shouted back.<br>"Step on it! They're getting closer!" Canada said as he reloaded another clip into his rifle.

England accelerated sharply, the car lurching forward as it hurled across the bridge. As they crossed over it, a large object suddenly loomed out from behind a clump of trees.

"Please tell me that's not what I think it is." England paled.  
>"It's a fucking Tiger!" America shouted.<p>

The monster of a tank had its barrel levelled right at the staff car.

"Get down! Get down!" England shouted.

As the three ducked down, the barrel of the Tiger belched flame, as a high explosive shell rocketed straight at them. The shell smashed through the windshield and into the road behind them, a massive explosion leaving a hole in the ground, which Germany accidentally drove his Kubelwagon into. As the car bucked, Germany was catapulted from it, landing in front of the wreck.

England veered the car to the left and drove around the Tiger as fast as he could. The tank's barrel sluggishly turned to face them, but it was no match for the speed of the Mercedes. The black car sped down the road, England making a hard, sharp right turn when they reached the cross roads.

"I think we lost them." Canada said, seeing that the road behind them was empty.  
>"That's a relief. Hey England, you can slow down now." America said, leaning back in his seat.<br>"Oh, right."

England slowed down a bit, and the three drove back to their camp at a rather relaxed speed.

"Thank you both for coming to get me." England said.  
>"No problem." America replied.<br>"What were they doing to you in there?" Canada asked.  
>"Yeah, we heard you screaming from outside the camp." America said.<br>"Awful...horrible...things. I'd rather not talk about it."  
>"Jeez it must have been bad." America said.<br>"That bloody Hungarian wench will rue the day she shared her little tomes with me!" England mumbled.  
>"Hungarian... what?" Canada asked.<br>"All I know is that when I get back to camp I'm giving India a right proper shagging, headaches and menstrual cycles be dammed." England growled.  
>"Oh, thanks... I <em>really<em> need the mental image of _you,_ naked and thrusting." America groaned.  
>"Don't be jealous that it's <em>my<em> meat she's perfectly fine with putting in her mouth." England smirked.

America leaned out of the side of the car and began to vomit violently. Canada started laughing from the back seat. This continued for a good stretch of the road.

"Bloody hell man, how much did you eat?" England asked.  
>"You've seen how much he can stuff into that maw of his." Canada replied, snickering.<p>

"I hate you so much Engl...(BLARGUH!)"


	11. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

"All Good Things Must Come to an End."

France, 1944

The Allies had landed in Normandy, and were now pushing towards the heart of Nazi Germany. The Devils Brigade continued their fight in Italy, before a short transfer to the invasion of southern France.

In a camp on the Front lines, England stood before Canada and America, his back turned to them.

"So, why'd you want to see us?" America asked.  
>"There's something difficult I need to tell you two." England replied.<br>"What is it?" Canada asked.  
>"We're disbanding the First Special Service Force." England replied.<br>"WHAT?" The two brothers shouted.

"You can't do that!" America said.  
>"I'm sorry, but it's not my decision." England replied.<br>"I... can't believe it." Canada said.

England walked towards the two.

"I want you two to know I'm dammed proud of you both. You two never failed what I asked of you, and you did everything with gusto and sheer bravery." England said, placing his hands on their shoulders.

"As such, I'm asking you two to do one last mission together." England said.

He walked over to a map.

"As you two may have heard, Hungary tried to surrender to us. Germany didn't like that, so he's occupied her lands. Russia's got his eye on adding her to his empire at the war's end. What I need you two to do, is assault a heavily defended German position, and get her out. That way we can try and get her on our side."

"Didn't you say she was a disgusting and perverted wench who deludes herself with sexual fantasies involving her ex husband and his worst enemy?" Canada asked.  
>"Yeah, and you also accused her of wanting to play with little boys." America said.<br>"Things may have been said in the brinks of anger and rage, but that's water under the bridge." England said nervously.  
>"Okay then. Where's she being held?" Canada asked.<br>"A Budapest Hungary. Currently under siege by Soviet Forces." England replied.  
>"Wait. Does Russia know we're doing this?" America asked.<br>"Well... no, he doesn't. And if he catches us, we may have no choice but to fight with Soviet troops." England replied.  
>"<em>Us<em>? What do you mean us?" America said.  
>"I've decided I'll be accompanying you two on this mission, as well as another party, who's been acting as an inside contact in the German military."<br>"Who's the contact?" Canada asked.

"Right, you can come in now!" England called out.  
>"Guten Tag, pretty boys!" a female voice called out from behind them.<p>

The two looked back and saw a woman standing in the tent's door, her arms crossed and a condescending look on her face. She was pale, with long, flowing white hair and wide eyes, which strangely were pinkish at the top, then blended into blue at the bottom.

"Oh lord, not you." Canada sighed. Covering his eyes.  
>"Oh yes, definitely me!" the woman replied as she walked in the room.<br>"Canada, I believe you're already familiar with Miss Prussia." England sighed.  
>"More with the male version than her but I'm certain the experience will be the same." Canada replied.<br>"Oh, come on she's not that bad."  
>"I'm certain she isn't but the only interaction I've had with the other version is trying to kill him in the fields of god damn Flanders!" Canada replied. "Why are you even here anyway?"<br>"Because, there's nothing cooler than secretly being a double agent!" Prussia replied.  
>"Then why wasn't the male version all over that?" America asked.<br>"Because, he's not smart enough to figure this sort of thing out, or how to be subtle about it! This way, I can show him I'll always be twenty percent more awesome than him!"  
>"So, you'd be twenty percent awesome then?" Canada whispered.<br>"What makes you twenty percent more _awesome_?" America asked.

"Simple, dummkopf! These..." Prussia pushed up her breasts slightly, "...and this!" She said, sticking her rear out slightly.

"I don't see what your problem with this chick is Matt, she seems like a lot of fun to me." America elbowed his brother. "Can you hold your booze sweetheart?"  
>"Is that a challenge?" Prussia asked.<p>

"If we could please continue this, are you certain you know your way around the city we need to assault?" England asked.  
>"Of course. If you just follow me through, I'd be hard pressed to think we'd even see a single Nazi or Soviet!"<br>"Why are you even helping us anyway? I mean, don't you hate Hungary?" Canada asked.  
>"If I help her, that means she owes me one. Two, at this point really." Prussia smirked.<p>

"Regardless, let's try to get this done with as little danger as possible." England finally said.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

"A Three Way Dance."

Budapest, 1944

As the shattered ruins of Hungary's capital were pounded with German and Soviet Artillery, the small band of infiltrators made their clandestine passage through the labyrinth of passages that made up the city's sewer system.

"Bloody hell, it smells worse than the Thames!" England said, trying not to fall in the river of waste flowing beside the four as they walked.  
>"How much loner until we reach the spot?" America asked.<br>"Just another couple of moments or so." Miss Prussia replied, without a bit of worry in her voice.  
>"I hope so. The sooner we get out of here, the better." America replied.<p>

Eventually, they reached a smaller passage, with light flowing out it.

"This is the closest we can get to the City Hall where Elizabeta is being held." Miss Prussia said, pointing to the passage. "When we get out, we'll still have another couple of blocks to get through before we reach the building."

"Right. Canada, take point. Make sure no one's in sight." England said."  
>"Alright."<p>

Canada entered the passage, holding his nose to block out as much of the stench as he could. At the end, he looked out and saw nothing but smashed buildings. He gestured for the others to follow him, and soon the four were making their way down the debris littered streets. All they could hear was the sounds of artillery, explosions and gunfire.

"Hold up!" Canada said, putting his hand back. They all crouched down, as Canada focused on a close sound. He recognized the sounds of treads on the city's streets. "Vehicles! Get out of sight!"

Ducking into a ruined building, they watched as a small convoy of tanks, infantrymen running alongside drove down the road. When they were certain the convoy had passed out of sight, they continued down the streets, the city hall clearly visible past the ruined buildings.

As they approached the city hall, they saw a lot of smoke coming from it, with a few fires burning from inside.

"The Germans are probably using it as a headquarters, or a defensive hub at the least." England said.  
>"Do you think she's still inside?" Canada asked.<br>"There aren't many other spots she could be." England replied.

The four sprinted across the street and over to the City Hall. Running up to a side door, Canada and America took place on each side of the door.

"Okay, on the count of three." Canada said.  
>"Right." America nodded.<p>

After counting to three, Canada kicked open the door, keeping as much of his body out of the door frame as possible. America ran into the room, his Thompson at the ready, but to his surprise, the hallway inside was empty.

"We're good! No one in sight."

With America at the lead, the four searched room to room, engaging and killing any Germans they ran into. But after clearing half the building, they still couldn't find any signs of Hungary.

"Man, where the heck is she?" Canada asked, sticking a new clip into his M1.  
>"We've only cleared half the building; she's got to be here!" Miss Prussia replied.<p>

Continuing their search of the southern part of the building, the four eventually found a locked door, with voices shouting from behind it.

"Someone's on the other side." Canada said.  
>"Can you tell who it is?" England asked.<p>

Canada listened. He could hear a man shouting, what sounded like German, and a woman shouting back in what he believed was Hungarian.

"They're too muffled for me to hear, but I think I heard Hungary." Canada said.  
>"We'll be right behind you two." England said.<p>

With a silent nod, Canada and America kicked the door down.

There's too much damn fire here! I'm getting reports that someone's clearing out the hall, and this damn harpy screeching in my ear isn't helping! A German officer was shouting into a radio, a Luger in his hands pointed right at a very dirty and very sickly Hungary, who's cheeks were stained with tears.

The officer looked right at the two, whose weapons were levelled right at him.

Put down your weapons or I'll... he started to say, but he was cut off by the brothers, who quickly gunned him down. Round after round smashed into his body as he stumbled back before hitting the bullet pierced wall, leaving a red streak as his corpse slid down it.

"And... cut." America said.

Canada started to cut Hungary's bonds loose.

"I thought you'd never come." Hungary whispered.  
>"Don't worry Miss Hungary, we'll get you out of here." Canada assured her. <p>

America looked out the windows.

"Uh... Matt? We've got a problem." He said.  
>"Can it wait?"<p>

There was a sudden explosion as a tank shell slammed into the building, rocking it.

"We've got tanks!" America said.  
>"Oh, thanks Al, I never would have guessed." Canada replied.<p>

With Hungary in his arms, Canada followed the others out of the building.

"We just need to get back to the sewers, then we can get back to the airport!" Prussia said, leading the way. More and more tank shells were slamming into the building.

"There's the exit!" England said, as they ran towards the front of the building.

They quickly opened the doors...

...to reveal a large group of Soviet Soldiers, with their weapons drawn and pointed right at them, and they watched as Russia pushed his way through them, a pistol in his hands.

"Hello there." He said.


	13. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve.

"The Final Mission."

Budapest, 1944.

If any one of the Western Allies who were present at that stand off had to describe their situation, one would deduce that, after pushing away the long stream of foul language, it wasn't very good.

"Hey, Russia... buddy..." America began.

With a loud bang, a round from Russia's Tokarev pistol slammed into the ground between America's feet, kicking up a small cloud of dirt.

"That is Soviet Union to you." Russia smirked.

"Soviet Union, right, listen, there's a really good reason why we're here."  
>"I know exactly why you are here. You wish to reduce my sphere of influence in the next century by taking Hungary away." Russia replied.<br>"Um... well..." America stammered.

As the other Allies tried to negotiate their way out of the mess, Canada watched from the back, cradling Hungary in his arms.

"What's going to happen?" She said weakly.  
>"I don't know." Canada whispered to her.<br>"Are we going to be all right?"  
>"I'm thinking, but hopefully Al or England can get us out of it."<p>

"C'mon Sovet Union, why you gotta be like this? Isn't there anyway we can get out of this and it benefits everyone?" America asked, making sure that his Thompson was still pointed at Russia.  
>"Would you be willing to renounce your greedy and destructive ways and adopt the willing graces of socialism?" Russia asked.<br>"Oh God no!" America replied.  
>"Then I can see no way that this will have a good conclusion."<p>

"Miss Hungary?" Canada whispered.  
>"Y..yes?"<br>"I want you to be very brave for the next couple of minutes. Don't panic or scream, just keep you eyes closed. I promise you'll be safe."  
>"Why?"<br>"Because I'm about to do something completely out of my mind."

Canada's hand slowly slid down and grabbed onto one of the grenades dangling from his belt. With a firm grip, he slid his thumb into the pin.

"Listen, America we can be quite reasonable about this." Russia said.  
>"What did you have in mind?" America asked un easily.<br>"Hand over Hungary, and Miss Prussia over there, and we will allow you three to leave without any problems."

"Should we do it?" America whispered to England.  
>"Are you bloody insane? No we're not doing that!" England hissed.<br>"It seems like a really good deal to me."  
>"That's because it saves your skin!"<br>"Well I don't wanna die here, gunned down by red goons!"  
>"Oh right, you'd rather die by heart disease or high cholesterol wouldn't you?"<br>"Shut up, leave my eating habits out of this!"  
>"Well, someone's got to do something or else we're hosed!"<p>

America looked back at Russia.

"No deal, Ivan." He replied.  
>"Then I'm afraid you have to die." Russia calmly replied.<p>

The sounds of weapons being cocked, and safety's being switched off resonated through the group of Soviet soldiers.

"Aim..." Russia began.

"Not so fast!" Canada shouted.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Do you have any last words you'd like to say before you're executed? And could you please put Hungary down? I'd like her as harmed as little as possible."  
>"Not likely, ruskie! Because guess what?" Canada said, as he produced the grenade. "Checkmate."<p>

With a flick of the thumb, Canada pulled the pin on the grenade. Hungary's eyes widened in shock, but she was to frozen in fear to scream.

"Matt, what the fuck man?" America shouted.  
>"Are you bloody insane?" England shouted.<p>

"Kill him!" one of the Soviet soldiers shouted. But before he could fire, Russia shot his pistol, and a spray of blood, skull and brain matter flew out from the hole now in the side of the soldier's head.

"No one fire!" Russia shouted, as the soldiers body fell to the ground with a loud thump.  
>"You'd better listen to him!" Canada said. "Because if I let go of the grenade, the safety lever will go, and I'll take Hungary with me!"<br>"YOU WHAT?" Hungary screamed.  
>"Just stay calm, you aren't going to die." Canada whispered to her.<p>

Hungary began to babble in uncontrollable panic.

"Now, here's how it's going to go." Canada said. "You're going to let us go, or else."  
>"No, that's not happening." Russia replied.<br>"Well then, how about this? Give us ten minutes to run as far as we can."

Russia thought for a moment.

"Very well. I enjoy a good chase." Russia replied.  
>"First, close your eyes so you don't see where we go." Canada said.<br>"Okay then."

To the four's shock, the entire group turned around. Taking advantage, the four ran away.

"After them! Russia shouted.

The four ran back towards the sewers, the Soviets in close pursuit.

"I figured that wouldn't work!" America shouted.  
>"Hey, at least I got us a head start." Canada replied as he tossed the grenade over his shoulder at the pursuing Soviets, a number of screams accompanying the blast.<p>

Dodging bullets as they ran, the four eventually reached one of the larger sewer entrances. Quickly entering, the four began to make way through the sewers, occasionally pausing to fire at the Soviets who had followed them.

"Prussia! Take Hungary and get moving!" America shouted.

Canada handed a dazed Hungary to Prussia, and joined England and America at covering the lady's flight.

Get moving, get moving!" England shouted as he reloaded his Sten.

With splashes of muck, the three followed Prussia through the sewers, firing as they ran at the Soviets who doggedly chased them.

With a sudden burst of natural light, the three emerged onto the last active runway near the city.

Prussia was already getting into the waiting airplane.

"Go! Norway's got the engine started! America shouted.

Running to the plane, the four climbed into the back, still firing as the aircraft began to lurch forward down the runway.

"We've got motorcycles and cars!" America shouted, as he fired at the Soviets who were driving after them.

"Move over damn it!" Canada said, pushing his brother out of the door. America saw that in his hand he held a Bren light machine gun.

As shell casings clattered on the floor of the plane before flying out the door, Canada, England and America took turns firing at the Soviets, hitting drivers, passengers and vehicles, causing all manner of destructive chaos to the pursuers.

"Why haven't we taken off yet?" America shouted.  
>"We need to make two passes down the runway in order to get enough airspeed!" Prussia shouted. "Give the pilot enough time!"<p>

As the plane made its second pass down the runway, and suddenly began to lift up, it was suddenly jerked down.

"What the..." England exclaimed, before Russia suddenly climbed into the plane.

"Oh God damn it!" America shouted.

With a devastating blow, Russia belted England in the nose, throwing him to the back of the plane. America and Canada tried to fight him off, the two barely being a match in physical strength for the hulking Red. As the three fought, they were slammed to the sides of the plane, shaking it as it tried to gain altitude.

From the pilot's seat, Norway struggled with the controls.

"What the hell are they doing back there?" he shouted to Prussia, trying to help him from the co-pilot's seat.  
>"Just focus on flying the plane!" Prussia hissed.<br>"We're too heavy to keep flying! Throw out some weight or we'll crash!" Norway shouted to the back of the plane.

"We're working on it!" America shouted as he tried to choke Russia from the back.

Russia shook America off his back, as Canada kicked Russia's legs out from under him. Russia hit the floor and flew out of the plane, but not before grabbing hold of America's legs. England grabbed onto America's wrists as he dangled from the open door. Russia was holding on to his legs.

"Kick him of Alfred!" England shouted, straining to keep hold of America.  
>"I can't! Shoot him off!" America shouted.<p>

Drawing his pistol, Canada took aim at Russia and fired, missing him as the two shook and swayed out the plane.

"SHOOT HIM!" America shouted.  
>"I'm trying! I'm trying!"<p>

Canada fired again and missed.

"For the love of God, SHOOT HIM!" America wailed in fear.  
>"Keep your trap shut or I'll make England let go!" Canada shouted.<br>"I'd do it too!" England shouted.

It was at this point, Canada was pushed out of the way by Hungary, an angry glow in her eyes. With her trademark frying pan in hand, England and Canada watched as she tossed the pan out the door, hitting Russia square in the face with a loud _**CLANG!**_, forcing him to let go. The three watched as Russia plummeted down towards the runway, with a cloud of dust when he landed on a tank.

"Hey, If it's not too much trouble, could you please pull me in?" America shouted.

After England and Canada pulled him in, Canada closed the door. Every one sat down and gave a sigh of relief.

"That was too close." England said.  
>"Well, that's another job well done!" America chuckled.<p>

Canada looked over to Hungary, looking extremely exhausted.

"Are you all right?" he asked.  
>"If you ever try to do what you did to me again, I'll hit you with the frying pan next time." She said.<p>

With the entire fuselage laughing, the plane flew back towards friendly lines.

...

With the disbandment of the FSSF in 1944, came the end of the Black Devils Brigade. Their skill, bravery and toughness showed that they were the best of the best. Their memory lives on in the United States Special Forces known as the Green Berets, and in Joint Task Force Two, Canada's tier one counter terrorism unit, and the Canadian CSOR.

The First Special Service Force never retreated. They never failed a mission. This reputation was paid in blood, but in exchange for this sacrifice those men would forever be known to friend and foe alike, as the Devils Brigade.

**THE NORTH AMERICAN TWINS WILL RETURN IN **

_**THE DEVIL'S BRIGADE 2: Alfred F. Jones and his Wailing Commandoes, and other tales of Action Volume Two!**_

_**(Or as the subtitle really should be: Shit I didn't think to put in this first one.)**_

_Canada: How come it's (your) howling commandoes?  
>America: Duh, 'cause I'm the hero!<br>Canada: But, we're both part of this!  
>Fem Prussia: That said, who the hell are the rest of these commandoes?<br>America: Well, I guess you, and England._

_Norway: Am I one too?  
>America: Sure, I'm certain we'll be blowing up a lot of installations in your country.<br>Norway: Well that sounds fin.. wait a minute._


End file.
